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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Given are two graphs concerning the culprit why
land
Use synonyms
polutted
Correct your spelling
polluted
 issue.
While
Linking Words
 the pie chart reveals the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
degradation
Use synonyms
,the table illustrates
this
Linking Words
problem
Change noun form
problem's
show examples
 influence in some
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
,counted in
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,during the
90’s
Change noun form
90s
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Over-gazing
Correct your spelling
Over-grazing
show examples
 was the main cause of worldwide
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
.Europe has experienced the most significant levels of
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
. As for culprits of global
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
deterioration, Over-gazing took up the first rank with 35,closely followed by deforestation with 30.Meanwhile,
Over-cultivation
Use synonyms
 and others constituted the most insignificant number with 28 and 7 respectively. With respect to the justification leading to the
degradation
Use synonyms
 in
land
Use synonyms
 quality in specific areas,Europe suffered from the most influence with 23 of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
land
Use synonyms
 degraded.At the opposite end of the scale ,
just
Rephrase
apply
show examples
 only 5 of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 soil in North America was eroded.Meanwhile ,there was 13 of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
land
Use synonyms
 must be negatively affected .With regard to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Europe,the chief factor triggering soil
eroded
Replace the word
erosion
show examples
 was deforestation with 9.8 ,closely followed by
over-cultivation
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 over-grazing with 7.7 and 5.5 respectively.In terms of
Ocenia
Correct your spelling
Oceania
,Over-grazing plays a paramount significant role in reducing soil quality with 11.3.
Whereas
Linking Words
 there was no response detecting any emergence by
over-cultivation
Use synonyms
.Regarding North
Change the capitalization
America
show examples
america
Change the capitalization
America
show examples
,
Over-cultivation
Use synonyms
 was the main factor with 3.3%

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words land, degradation, over-cultivation with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pie chart
  • Table
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Decreasing productivity
  • Reasons
  • Regional variations
  • Data
  • Summarize
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