The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to Japan for different purposes between 1990 and 2010.

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to Japan for different purposes between 1990 and 2010.
A glance at the line graph provided reveals the tourists of foreigns who came to Japan for various purposes after two decades. Looking from an
overall
perspective, it is evident that there was a downward trend experienced in all intentions.
Moreover
, the number of businesses was the highest number over the 20-year. In terms of
business’s
Change noun form
business
show examples
data, it started at approximately 6
million
and rose dramatically
just
Change preposition
to just
show examples
10
million
by 2005.
Although
it exponential decline, it gradually increased and reached 9
million
in the
last
year. With regard to holiday and
visit
friend information , there was a slight movement underwent in both purposes, except for the initial point and the growth level. In 1990, the figures for holiday and
visit
friends began at about 5
million
as well as
merely 4
million
respectively. What is more, there were similar points in about 1993 and in 2005 between holiday and
visit
friends stood at 4
million
and about 7
million
equivalently.
Finally
, Whilst holidays took up the second rank with negligibly 7
million
, the
visit
friends decreased minimally
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
6
million
in 2010.
Submitted by thvana236 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words million, visit with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: