Some people say that parent should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own discuss both opinions and give your opinion ?
Whether little ones should
be
full freedom to spend their time free time as per their wish is a topic of debate Verb problem
have
among
our society and some people believe that Change preposition
in
parents
should be responsible for planning their activities
among their peers. This
essay discusses both these viewpoints and in the end I will present perspective.
There many
benefits if Add a missing verb
are many
children
are encouraged to spend their pastime as they like. What i
mean is that it helps them to become more independent and Change the capitalization
I
also
teaches accountability for their actions. This
has many benefits. First,
it fosters independence which is necessary to make informed decisions as adults when they have noone
to guide them. Correct your spelling
no one
Secondly
, this
will also
empower them in learning Correct article usage
the casue-effect
casue-effect
relationship of adopting good Correct your spelling
cause-effect
as well as
bad habits. For example
, a student can learn important life lesson
after gaining awareness of how spending prolonged time on video gaming could Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
leads
to poor academic performance. Wrong verb form
lead
This
in turn could discourage them to develop
a deleterious daily routine, enhancing their future outlook Change preposition
from developing
as a result
.
On the other hand
, parents
are required to arrange various team activities
for their all-round development. To elaborate, there is a general consensus among people that children
doesn't
exhibit advanced awareness as adults in it comes to understanding what is Change the verb form
don't
the
best for their Correct article usage
apply
overall
growth. Therefore
, the limited life experience of children
makes the onus fall on parents
' shoulder
to choose group Fix the agreement mistake
shoulders
activities
, such
as a music class, a swimming course and so on; which in turn facilitate children
fostering a sense of camaderie
Correct your spelling
camaraderie
while
also
assist
them Wrong verb form
assisting
understanding
the importance teamwork and collaboration.
In conclusion, there are clear merits and demerits of Change preposition
in understanding
parents
managing their children
's social activities
with friends. On balance, however
, I feel that adults should continue to supervise the group-based leisure endeavours of their little ones because they are the ones who know what is best for nurturing better habits and skills in them. I recommend that parents
should also
stay vigilant about the social circle of their children
in order to avert any potential threat of developing unfavourable and counterproductive behavioural tendencies.Submitted by rohit.narad90 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and connect it logically to the thesis of the essay. Precise topic sentences would help in this regard.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more concise and directly address the prompt. Aim to clearly state the essay question and your opinion in both sections.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to consistently develop your main points with specific and relevant examples. Each paragraph should clearly follow from the points you've made, reinforcing your argument.
task achievement
Expand and support your ideas more fully. The response does address the question, but it lacks depth. More detailed explanations and a variety of examples would improve the completeness of the response.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas by expanding them and providing more comprehensive analysis. This will also enhance the clearness of your argument.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific and detailed examples to back up your points. Real-world examples or hypothetical situations would make your essay more persuasive and fulfilling the tasks more effectively.