Some people say that parent should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own discuss both opinions and give your opinion ?

#people #parent #children #part #group #activities #time

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Whether little ones should

Verb problem

have

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full freedom to spend their time free time as per their wish is a topic of debate

among

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show examples

our society and some people believe that

parents

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should be responsible for planning their

activities

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among their peers.

This

Linking Words

essay discusses both these viewpoints and in the end I will present perspective. There

many

Add a missing verb

are many

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benefits if

children

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are encouraged to spend their pastime as they like. What

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mean is that it helps them to become more independent and

also

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teaches accountability for their actions.

This

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has many benefits.

First,

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it fosters independence which is necessary to make informed decisions as adults when they have

noone

Correct your spelling

no one

to guide them.

Secondly

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this

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will

also

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empower them in learning

Correct article usage

the casue-effect

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casue-effect

Correct your spelling

cause-effect

relationship of adopting good

as well as

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bad habits.

For example

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, a student can learn important life

lesson

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lessons

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after gaining awareness of how spending prolonged time on video gaming could

leads

Wrong verb form

lead

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to poor academic performance.

This

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in turn could discourage them

to develop

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from developing

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a deleterious daily routine, enhancing their future outlook

as a result

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On the other hand

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parents

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are required to arrange various team

activities

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for their all-round development. To elaborate, there is a general consensus among people that

children

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doesn't

Change the verb form

don't

show examples

exhibit advanced awareness as adults in it comes to understanding what is

the

Correct article usage

apply

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best for their

overall

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growth.

Therefore

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, the limited life experience of

children

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makes the onus fall on

parents

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shoulder

Fix the agreement mistake

shoulders

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to choose group

activities

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as a music class, a swimming course and so on; which in turn facilitate

children

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fostering a sense of

camaderie

Correct your spelling

camaraderie

while

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also

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assist

Wrong verb form

assisting

show examples

them

understanding

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in understanding

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the importance teamwork and collaboration. In conclusion, there are clear merits and demerits of

parents

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managing their

children

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's social

activities

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with friends. On balance,

however

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, I feel that adults should continue to supervise the group-based leisure endeavours of their little ones because they are the ones who know what is best for nurturing better habits and skills in them. I recommend that

parents

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should

also

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stay vigilant about the social circle of their

children

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in order to avert any potential threat of developing unfavourable and counterproductive behavioural tendencies.

Submitted by rohit.narad90 on Sat Dec 16 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and connect it logically to the thesis of the essay. Precise topic sentences would help in this regard.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more concise and directly address the prompt. Aim to clearly state the essay question and your opinion in both sections.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to consistently develop your main points with specific and relevant examples. Each paragraph should clearly follow from the points you've made, reinforcing your argument.

task achievement

Expand and support your ideas more fully. The response does address the question, but it lacks depth. More detailed explanations and a variety of examples would improve the completeness of the response.

task achievement

Clarify your ideas by expanding them and providing more comprehensive analysis. This will also enhance the clearness of your argument.

task achievement

Incorporate more specific and detailed examples to back up your points. Real-world examples or hypothetical situations would make your essay more persuasive and fulfilling the tasks more effectively.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

353 words

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Some people say that parent should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own discuss both opinions and give your opinion ?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the histrory of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that students of all grades should be required to study physical education in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?