In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move out of large cities and into regional areas. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

#countries #governments #industries #businesses #move #cities #areas #development

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In recent years, the

government

have been encouraging businesses and industries to relocate from major city to small

regional

Replace the word

regions

show examples

. As

such

, there are merits and demerits to

this

idea,

although

I opine that its merits

outweight

Correct your spelling

outweigh

the demerits. In

this

essay, I

eill

Correct your spelling

will

examine all the relevant opinions based on factual premises. There are several arguments to support

this

idea. The predominant one is that it can reduce urban congestion which

is help

Wrong verb form

helps

show examples

to decrease traffic congestion in large cities and gain

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

quality of air.

Moreover

, It might help to promote balanced regional development which is it can bring numerous investors from other countries.

As a result

industries

Change the noun form

industry

show examples

expansion, the

government

will build

infrastucture

Correct your spelling

infrastructure

to facilitate economic growth.

However

, diluting regional identities and traditions

as a result

influx

Correct article usage

the influx

show examples

new

Change preposition

of new

show examples

workers.

In addition

, the

industries

Change noun form

industry's

industries'

show examples

activities can harm the environment ecosystem if it is not properly managed by the

government

For example

, it can bring danger to

sea

Correct article usage

the sea

show examples

ecosytem

Correct your spelling

ecosystem

ecosystems

because of industrial waste.

Therefore

, the

government

should

be handling

Wrong verb form

handle

show examples

properly

this

situation before it harms the ecosystem.

Furthermore

, if the

government

just rely on

single

Add an article

a single

show examples

industry, it would be risky especially if it declines. In conclusion, there are numerous benefits and drawbacks.

Nevertheless

, In my opinion,

merits

Correct article usage

the merits

show examples

are outweigh

Change the verb form

outweigh

show examples

the demerits. It can help

improving

Wrong verb form

improve

show examples

economy

Correct article usage

the economy

show examples

regional and bring foreign investors.

Moreover

, reducing traffic congestion can help to diminish pollution and bring

clean

Correct article usage

a clean

show examples

atmosphere to

urban

Add an article

the urban

show examples

city

Fix the agreement mistake

cities

show examples

In addition

, the local community can gain numerous exposures to promote their products to other countries and have easy access because of

expand

Wrong verb form

expanded

show examples

infrastructure.

Submitted by gladysdharmawan1994 on Sun Dec 17 2023

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coherence cohesion

Try to structure your essay more logically, with clear introductory, body, and concluding paragraphs that each have a unique function. Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the essay flows naturally from one point to the next.

task achievement

Work on providing a more comprehensive response to the prompt. Expand on your points with detailed examples and ensure you address all parts of the question. Both the advantages and disadvantages should be explored equally, with your final opinion being justified by the arguments presented.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic diversification
urban congestion
regional development
infrastructure
healthcare
environmental impact
air quality
over-reliance
cultural disruption
industrial activity
ecosystems
sustainable
urban-rural migration
economic incentives
workforce
relocation costs
zoning regulations
corporate responsibility
public-private partnerships
livability

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In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move out of large cities and into regional areas. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that we cannot learn anything from the past for our life today, while others believe that history is a valuable source of information to understand human's life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The government has the responsibility to ensure the safety of its citizens. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some health problems are directly linked to people’s life choices. Why do people make these choices? What can be done to encourage them to make healthier choices instead?

People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant.