IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that it is more important to plant trees in open areas of town and cities than to build more housing . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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These days, migration has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased as compared to the past, and
as a result
Linking Words
,
cities
Use synonyms
 and towns need more residential
buildings
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, some claim that
trees
Use synonyms
 are planted in open
space
Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
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town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
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 and
cities
Use synonyms
 because it is crucial
instead
Linking Words
 of
build
Change the verb form
building
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 more housing. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain
how
Rephrase
apply
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why I do not agree with the statement building more houses
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 more vital than planting
trees
Use synonyms
 and
provdes
Correct your spelling
provide
 examples to support my position. On the one hand, the urban areas should need more
buildings
Use synonyms
 for people
due to
Linking Words
 migration.
This
Linking Words
 is because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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many villagers are moved from their local area to the metropolitan location for many reasons
such
Linking Words
 as education, employment
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
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 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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better lifestyle
while
Linking Words
cities
Use synonyms
 need to build more
buildings
Use synonyms
 for them.
For example
Linking Words
, the apartment and flat type of accommodation has increased in town rather than single house type of accommodation because of
raising
Verb problem
apply
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the
population
Correct word choice
rising population
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 in these places.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the metropolitan location
need
Change the verb form
needs
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 to build more housing in order to it can satisfy the demand of the residential places.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
trees
Use synonyms
 are planted in
open
Add an article
the open
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place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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of
Change preposition
in
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 town and it is
an
Correct article usage
apply
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imperative.
This
Linking Words
 is because
of
Change preposition
apply
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trees
Use synonyms
 can provide fresh
air
Use synonyms
 and spread more positivity,
air
Use synonyms
 pollution is the biggest
threaten
Replace the word
threat
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of
Change preposition
to
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cities
Use synonyms
,
hence
Linking Words
, more
trees
Use synonyms
 need to
plant
Wrong verb form
be planted
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 in open space in order to
Co2
Correct your spelling
CO2
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 might be reduced by
tress
Correct your spelling
trees
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
trees
Change noun form
trees'
tree's
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 main process is
release
Fix the infinitive
to release
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 oxygen and intake CO2, people can breathe fresh
air
Use synonyms
 which is unpolluted
air
Use synonyms
 by planting more
trees
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 can help to
be
Verb problem
foster
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 a healthy lifestyle
in
Change preposition
for
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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urban residents.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 it is true that planting
trees
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 open
space
Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
show examples
 leads to
get
Verb problem
apply
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fresh
air
Use synonyms
 and
spread
Wrong verb form
spreading
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 more positivity, the benefits of building more
buildings
Use synonyms
 for
city's
Change noun form
city
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 dwellers far
outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
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thought
Correct article usage
the thought
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 of better.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I strongly agree with the statement that building more houses is much more imperative than
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
planting
trees
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
For task response, ensure that the position taken in relation to the prompt is clear throughout the essay. While the introduction states disagreement with the statement, the conclusion presents a strong agreement, leading to confusion. Stay consistent with your view to maintain clarity in your essay.
task achievement
Work on developing clear and coherent ideas. Your essay seems to have contradictory statements, particularly in the conclusion where the stance changes. Develop your arguments logically and ensure they are consistent with your thesis throughout the essay.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your point of view. While you provided examples, expanding on them with more detail and relevance to your argument can strengthen your task response.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on using a range of cohesive devices and transition words effectively. Organize your paragraphs so that each main idea is followed up by supporting sentences that expand on that idea in a logical sequence. Avoid overly long sentences and maintain paragraph structure.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion mirror each other in stating the writer's viewpoint. Keeping a consistent stance from the introduction through to the conclusion is critical to maintain a cohesive argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your supporting points are relevant to your main argument and that they are fully developed. Each paragraph should have one clear main idea with supporting sentences that are directly related to that idea.
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