In many countries, sports and exercise classes are replaced with academic subjects. Discuss the effects of this trend.

#countries #sports #exercise #classes #subjects #effects #trend

A trend of

substitutating

Correct your spelling

substituting

sports and exercise classes with academic

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

can be seen across the world.

This

essay will discuss the impact of the situation on the new generation. First of all, some people argue that sports

wont

Add an apostrophe

won't

show examples

benefical

Correct your spelling

beneficial

in leading a

succesful

Correct your spelling

successful

life. As we all know

corporate

Replace the word

corporations

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

running

this

world,

they

Correct word choice

and they

show examples

have

influence

Add an article

an influence

show examples

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

. So

such

corporate people and their supporters are setting a wrong perspective in the society for their individual means. They are pushing

such

argument

Correct article usage

an argument

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because they don't want

healthier

Correct article usage

a healthier

show examples

generation they just want an individual who is excellent in

academic

Fix the agreement mistake

academics

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that they can employ him and

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

get their work done using their knowledge.

Secondly

, having a healthy body is very important. Our current lifestyle is very pathetic, we do not burn enough calories

becuase

Correct your spelling

because

of our eating and working patterns.

That is

the reason for

reduction

Add an article

the reduction

a reduction

show examples

in the living span of a

hunman

Correct your spelling

human

gunman

. So enhancing physical activities

during

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

young age is very necessary. I will not only make

individual

Correct article usage

an individual

show examples

physically strong but

also

it will keep individual mentally and emotionally strong. And, practising

such

activity from

the

Correct article usage

show examples

very early age will develop a habit and can improve the life span of an individual.

For example

, a report says

individual

Add an article

an individual

the individual

show examples

who tends to practise exercise since childhood

are

Change the verb form

show examples

physically and

mentall

Correct your spelling

mentally

strong as compared to other and their life span is

also

better than others. In conclusion, If

such

trends continue

then

it can

cause

Verb problem

have

show examples

very

Add an article

a very

show examples

dangerous effect on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society it is very important to friction

such

wrong

narrative

Fix the agreement mistake

narratives

show examples

and enhance practising sports since childhood.

This wrong ideas

Change the determiner

This wrong idea

These wrong ideas

show examples

can lead to

physically

Correct article usage

a physically

show examples

and mentally weak generation.

Submitted by adarsh.deore12322 on Mon Dec 18 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure the essay has a well-structured introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should present a clear main idea and be coherent with the rest of the text.

coherence cohesion

Develop each main point with specific, relevant examples and fully elaborate on how these points support your argument regarding the effects of replacing sports with academic subjects.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task. The essay would benefit from a deeper analysis of why the trend is occurring and how it affects different aspects of society beyond the individual, such as educational institutions or future workforce.

task achievement

Provide clearer and more comprehensive ideas with careful consideration of the prompt. Each paragraph should articulate a distinct idea that relates to the effects of the trend on society. Use more precise language and clarify arguments.

task achievement

Use specific examples to illustrate your points, and ensure they are fully explained and directly relevant to the topic. Broad generalizations without evidence do not sufficiently demonstrate the effects of the trend.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, sports and exercise classes are replaced with academic subjects. Discuss the effects of this trend.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is common that in many companies people from different ages work together in a same team. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantges?

Many social media accounts are fake What problems does ths cause? What Solatons can you suget?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?