In many countries, sports and exercise classes are replaced with academic subjects. Discuss the effects of this trend.
A trend of
substitutating
sports and exercise classes with academic Correct your spelling
substituting
subject
can be seen across the world. Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
This
essay will discuss the impact of the situation on the new generation.
First of all, some people argue that sports wont
be Add an apostrophe
won't
benefical
in leading a Correct your spelling
beneficial
succesful
life. As we all know Correct your spelling
successful
corporate
Replace the word
corporations
is
running Correct subject-verb agreement
are
this
world, they
have Correct word choice
and they
influence
on Add an article
an influence
government
. So Correct article usage
the government
such
corporate people and their supporters are setting a wrong perspective in the society for their individual means. They are pushing such
argument
because they don't want Correct article usage
an argument
healthier
generation they just want an individual who is excellent in Correct article usage
a healthier
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
,
so that they can employ him and Remove the comma
apply
can
get their work done using their knowledge.
Verb problem
apply
Secondly
, having a healthy body is very important. Our current lifestyle is very pathetic, we do not burn enough calories becuase
of our eating and working patterns. Correct your spelling
because
That is
the reason for reduction
in the living span of a Add an article
the reduction
a reduction
hunman
. So enhancing physical activities Correct your spelling
human
gunman
during
Change preposition
at
the
young age is very necessary. I will not only make Correct article usage
a
individual
physically strong but Correct article usage
an individual
also
it will keep individual mentally and emotionally strong. And, practising such
activity from the
very early age will develop a habit and can improve the life span of an individual. Correct article usage
a
For example
, a report says individual
who tends to practise exercise since childhood Add an article
an individual
the individual
are
physically and Change the verb form
is
mentall
strong as compared to other and their life span is Correct your spelling
mentally
also
better than others.
In conclusion, If such
trends continue then
it can cause
Verb problem
have
very
dangerous effect on Add an article
a very
the
society it is very important to friction Correct article usage
apply
such
wrong narrative
and enhance practising sports since childhood. Fix the agreement mistake
narratives
This wrong ideas
can lead to Change the determiner
This wrong idea
These wrong ideas
physically
and mentally weak generation.Correct article usage
a physically
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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay has a well-structured introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should present a clear main idea and be coherent with the rest of the text.
coherence cohesion
Develop each main point with specific, relevant examples and fully elaborate on how these points support your argument regarding the effects of replacing sports with academic subjects.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. The essay would benefit from a deeper analysis of why the trend is occurring and how it affects different aspects of society beyond the individual, such as educational institutions or future workforce.
task achievement
Provide clearer and more comprehensive ideas with careful consideration of the prompt. Each paragraph should articulate a distinct idea that relates to the effects of the trend on society. Use more precise language and clarify arguments.
task achievement
Use specific examples to illustrate your points, and ensure they are fully explained and directly relevant to the topic. Broad generalizations without evidence do not sufficiently demonstrate the effects of the trend.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.