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Band 4

The natural resources such as oil, forest, and freshwater are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problems doeas it cause? How can we solve these problems?

#resources #oil #forest #rate #doeas
Over the
last
 two or three decades, natural
resources
 have
reduced
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been reduced
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 more tremendously than ever before
due to
 the
over
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apply
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consumptions
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consumption
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. The natural
resources
 of oil, fresh water and forest are finite and will soon end in the upcoming future. There are
somse
Correct your spelling
some
 reasons behind
this
 adverse
situations
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situation
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as well as
 there are some possible remedies
can
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that can
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 be solved it.
This
 essay discusses it briefly for the
folowing
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following
reason
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reasons
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. There are some reasons for the natural
resources
 would be finished. One of the main
cause
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causes
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 is the over
consumptions
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consumption
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 of
resources
 like oil and fresh water. people
are consumed
Wrong verb form
consume
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 more fossil fuels for their
transporation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 facilities, not only for long travels but
also
 the short distances too,
thus
, oils might be wasted by
over
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apply
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consumptions
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consumption
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.
For example
, a recent sensus said that
,
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apply
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 fossil fuels will be the next 60 years only with now
consumptions
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consumption
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 rate. Another reason is deforestation, the population
cut
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cuts
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forest
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forests
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 enormously
for building
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to build
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 innumerable residential houses,
consequently
, it would be affected the eco-system like erosion of soil and increase the
earth
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earth's
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tempreature
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temperature
.
Despite
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Despite this
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, there are some possible solutions
could
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that could
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be solved
Wrong verb form
solve
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this
 tendency. One of the main
remedy
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remedies
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 is
the
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that
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 infinite
energy
 should be used
in
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apply
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everywhere namely
companies
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in companies
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 and houses. There are
an
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apply
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alternative sources
can
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that can
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be cured
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cure
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this
 issue
such
 as solar and wind
energy
.
For instance
, solar
system
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systems
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 should be fixed on the top of the roof in houses and organisations in order to we can get more infinite
energy
resources
. Another solution is cutting trees should be stopped
instead
 of enormous
tress
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trees
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should be
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being
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 planted
in
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apply
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everywhere; the
authority
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authorities
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 should
be implemented
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implement
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a strict rules
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strict rules
a strict rule
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 against the folks who
cuts
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cut
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 trees.
To conclude
, deforestation and
over consumption
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overconsumption
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 are the main reasons for an alarming rate of oil, fresh water and forest.
An alternative
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Alternative
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 and infinite
energy
 sources like wind and solar and more trees should be planted
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everwhere
Correct your spelling
everywhere
show examples
 are the possible
solution
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solutions
show examples
 for
this
 tendency.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherence in some parts, showing issues with logical sequencing of ideas. To improve, endeavor to present arguments in a more organized manner. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea followed by supporting sentences that are directly relevant to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but could be enhanced by clearly paraphrasing the question and summarizing the main points more effectively. Ensure both the introduction and conclusion succinctly address the task's demands.
coherence cohesion
Support for main points is present but relatively weak. Develop arguments further by providing concrete examples. For each problem or solution mentioned, provide specific details or scenarios to illustrate your points.
task achievement
The response to the task is somewhat complete but lacks depth. Expand on your ideas to fully address all parts of the task. Ideas should be explained and elaborated upon with clarity.
task achievement
Ideas are mentioned but not fully developed, making the essay somewhat difficult to understand. Improve by taking one idea at a time and explaining it comprehensively before moving on to the next point.
task achievement
There is a need for more relevant, specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Cite credible sources or case studies where possible to add weight to your points.
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