Some people are of the opinion that children should be rewarded for good behaviour. Others think they should be punished for bad behavior. Discuss both views and give your personal opinion and reasons.

#people #children #behaviour #behavior

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The education of children has become a debatable topic.

While

some think students should be rewarded for good

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

think they should get

discipline

Wrong verb form

disciplined

show examples

for their bad

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

This

essay will discuss both views and my personal opinion and reasons. On the one hand, positive reinforcement can encourage good

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

by rewarding children when they act appropriately, which can motivate them to maintain

such

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

in the future. Parents or teachers can reward them in various forms

such

as stickers, small prizes or candies which give youngsters motivation to keep good

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

in the long term.

On the other hand

, punishing children when they

misbehavior

Replace the word

misbehave

show examples

will

make

Verb problem

have

show examples

a negative impact on their mental health.

According to

a survey from Hong Kong University, 70% of students experience depression and anxiety because of their shadow of childhood

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

they get punishment from their parents.

Therefore

they are scared to express themselves. We can see that the effect of punishment will have a huge negative impact on a child. In conclusion, rewarding adolescents would lead them to be good behaviour person.

In contrast

, punishment is not the best way to correct their

misbehavior

Change the spelling

misbehaviour

show examples

Submitted by callachan8 on Mon Dec 18 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction and Conclusion

Ensure that your introduction sets a clear foundation for the discussion by directly addressing the topic and outlining the structure of the essay. Additionally, ensure your conclusion effectively summarizes your main arguments and clearly states your position.

Supported Main Points

Develop your main points with clear explanations and relevant examples. Each viewpoint should be explored fully, ideally with supporting evidence or real-life examples to substantiate your claims.

Complete Response

Aim for a balanced argument where both sides are presented before you state your personal opinion. Make sure your personal opinion is clearly stated and well-supported by reasons and examples from your text.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on the progression of ideas to enhance the reader's understanding. Use a range of cohesive devices accurately and effectively to bring about better flow and coherence in your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

191 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Positive reinforcement
Behavioral motivation
Praise
Extrinsic motivation
Internal discipline
Consequences
Time-outs
Removal of privileges
Logical consequences
Psychological effects
Child-parent relationship
Negative reinforcement
Consistency
Fairness

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
task 1: Tha plan below show how the ground floor of a particular building has changed over time.
The floorplan shows how a building has changed from 1958 to the present day. Overall perspective, it is apparent that the building has served both commercial and residential purposes with the only area remaining unchanged being the kitchen. At present, the flower shop has a more beautiful to when it was an apartment and office.
7.5
band
In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people buy local food?
Throughout the world, a host of citizens are opting to purchase imported foodstuff instead of locally produced food. This is happening due to the variety of yield, however, people can be persuaded to shop for local products by promoting local food festivals.
6
band
some people think that men and women have diferences qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today’s society, many people believe that males and females have different qualities, leading to the assumption that certain jobs are better suited for individuals of a specific gender. However, I strongly disagree with this notion.
5
band
Some people believe that money spent on space exploration is not justifiable. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, governments and billionaires across the world allocated considerable amount of their resources to reach for the stars, aiming to shed some lights on the mystery surroundoing the space above us. However, I consider myself as an opposition to those space exploration missions as the resource can be allocated to resolve a more grounded, yet relevant problem for our civilization.
7.5
band
You recently attended a training course for your work. Your employer has asked you for your feedback on the training course. Write a letter to your employer. In your letter ⚫ remind your employer what the course was about * explain why the course was useful to you in your work suggest why the course may not be suitable for some of your other colleagues
I am writing this letter with regard to a comment on the certification course, which I did last month.

Some people are of the opinion that children should be rewarded for good behaviour. Others think they should be punished for bad behavior. Discuss both views and give your personal opinion and reasons.

Fully explain your ideas

task 1: Tha plan below show how the ground floor of a particular building has changed over time.

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people buy local food?

some people think that men and women have diferences qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that money spent on space exploration is not justifiable. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?