Some people think it is important for all children to learn history in school. Others believe that other subjects are more relevant to children’s life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #history #school #subjects #children’s #life

Currently, I am working as a GIS Specialist.

This

job requires me to understand remote sensing and mapping. As a GIS staff, I am required to do mapping

according to

the existing needs

for

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the company's needs. The tasks I did were

developed

Change the verb form

to develop

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manual digitization analysis through Sentinel-2 imagery in Papua Island,

analyzed

Wrong verb form

analyse

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the deforestation rate in Papua Island during 2017-2022 using remote sensing, and

wrote

Wrong verb form

write

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about the results of the deforestation rate in Papua Island in 2017-2022. The field I learned

is very relate

Change the verb form

is very related

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to my daily life as an Applied Meteorology student who always plays with data and mapping. I consider a GIS Specialist to be very familiar with mapping and remote sensing work. I believe that the skills I have can be useful for the organization I am currently in.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Mon Dec 18 2023

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task response

The essay fails to address the prompt provided which requires a discussion of the relevance of learning history in schools versus the importance of other subjects. Instead, the essay focuses on the author's personal experience in their current role as a GIS Specialist, which is unrelated to the topic.

coherence and cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is lacking as it does not follow the expected format of an IELTS essay. There should be a clear introduction, followed by paragraphs that discuss both views of the argument, and a conclusion summarizing the discussion and the writer's own opinion.

coherence and cohesion

The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which are essential parts of the IELTS essay structure. The introduction should set the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points made and restate the author's opinion.

coherence and cohesion

Main points are unsupported in the essay because it does not discuss the topic at hand. To support main points, each paragraph should contain a clear topic sentence followed by explanations, examples, or evidence that reinforce the point being made in relation to the prompt.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

133 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think it is important for all children to learn history in school. Others believe that other subjects are more relevant to children’s life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impacts of aging population

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .

Some people think there is no need for professional photographers as everybody knows how to click pictures. What is your opinion? Include any relevant personal experience and knowledge

in many countries around the world ,rural people are moving to cities,so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?