More students decided to take a part-time job when they go into universities. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#students #job #universities #development

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Germany is a developed country with one of the best environmental conditions in the world and one of the best manufacturers in the world. In

this

case, I really want to find an organization that can accommodate me to learn about understanding what the environment is like, how to love the environment,

how

Correct word choice

and how

show examples

to change people's mindset that the environment is very important for the current circular economy. All of these things are

then

developed with my skills in the field of GIS so that what I get in

this

program can be integrated between my knowledge and skills. I feel now is the right time to start all

this

with the help of

this

program.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Mon Dec 18 2023

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Introduction and Conclusion

The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which are essential components of a well-structured response. Ensure that the position is stated in the introduction and summarized in the conclusion.

Logical Structure

The logical flow of ideas is not evident. Use cohesive devices and clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument or narrative.

Supported Main Points

Develop your main points with more detailed explanations and relevant examples. Each paragraph should center on a single idea that supports your overall viewpoint.

Complete Response

The essay does not address the task's topic directly. It is crucial to answer the given question, discussing the implications of university students taking part-time jobs.

Clear Comprehensive Ideas

The ideas presented are not clearly developed and lack comprehensive detail. Focus on expanding your thoughts and providing depth to the discussion.

Relevant Specific Examples

Include examples that are pertinent to the essay prompt to substantiate your points, especially when you discuss the potential benefits or drawbacks of students working part-time.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

116 words

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More students decided to take a part-time job when they go into universities. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Nowadays people research their family history, some people say this is useless and we should instead focus on present and future generations. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

some people think that the communication technology is having a negative effect on social relationships. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Will the benefits of this weigh the problems associated with it?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sporting facilities, others however say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required Discuss both these views and give your opinion.