The line graph shows the average number of weekly patieents vivsiting four clinics of a hospital form 2010 to 2016.

#line #patieents #four #clinics #form

the line

gragh

Correct your spelling

graph

gives us

informatione

Correct your spelling

information

about the average

number

of patients who have visited

bith

Correct your spelling

birth

control ,eye ,diabetic and dental

clinics

between 2010 and 2016 ,

overall

it can be seen that the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

visitores

Correct your spelling

visitors

have been increased over the period ,significantly for eyes

clinics

however

Add the comma(s)

show examples

bith

Correct your spelling

birth

control patients remained stable . refers to the eye and

Diabestic

Correct your spelling

Diabetic

clinics

which the

number

of sick people

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

visited for , eye hospital stood at around 110 weekly

visitor

Change to a plural noun

visitors

show examples

in 2010,

although

this

number

was dramatic rise to 350 in 2016 ,

also

Diabestic

Correct your spelling

Diabetic

clinic Visitors in 2010 saw reached steadily from about 55 to 100 in 2014 , but

this

amount

was increase

Change the verb form

was increased

show examples

quickly to over 155 visitors . regards to

other clinic

Change the wording

another clinic

other clinics

show examples

such

as Birth

conrtol

Correct your spelling

control

and dental , Dental

clinics

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

started with 100 patients during the period 2014 and 2016 the amount of visitors increased gradually . over the period the

number

of people who have visited Birth control remained unchanged

Submitted by dler_shakar on Mon Dec 18 2023

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, clinics with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

164 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

line graph
average
weekly patients
clinics
hospital
trends
increases
decreases
peaks
troughs
fluctuations
comparative analysis
time period
consistent
inconsistent
gradual
sharp
decline
rise
remained stable
notable
significant

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The line graph shows the average number of weekly patieents vivsiting four clinics of a hospital form 2010 to 2016.

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole.Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

i. #Environment - Nowdays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced? (IELTS 5, GT)

Some think Government spending on Infrastructure (Transport, Housing etc) is considered the most important for a nation. While others believe that Education, Health and HR values to be more important areas for government expenditure. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.