IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The pictures show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in a city in the UK.

#pictures #show #information #income #food #clothes #city #uk
The given diagrams show the average income and spending on groceries and
clothes
 in 2010 and 2013 by middle-class families and to which products the money was allocated in 2010.
Overall
, the average earnings decreased
while
 the total expense on daily needs increased, and meat and fish were the most purchased groceries in 2010. In that year, the average wage stood at 29000 and it dropped to 25000 in 2013. The average spending on food on
clothes
,
on the other hand
, rose from 14000 to 15000.
Next,
The pie chart illustrates the details of food and
clothes
 bought in 2010. Meat and fish were 29% in 2010, followed by fruit and vegetables with roughly one quarter.
Next,
other food was 18%, and the figure for
clothes
 was 15%.
Lastly
, dairy products only had a small minority.
Submitted by erniwbs on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The current structure lacks a clear distinction between these essential components, which can confuse the reader.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points fully with clear explanations and support. While some information is provided, it needs to be expanded upon for clarity and depth.
task achievement
It's necessary to address all parts of the task and provide a clear, complete response. Make sure to include comparisons where relevant and discuss all parts of the graphs or charts.
task achievement
Aim to present information and ideas clearly and logically. Avoid jumping between points or presenting information in a way that may not seem comprehensibly connected.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average income
  • spending habits
  • proportion
  • cost of living
  • economic changes
  • cultural factors
  • standard of living
  • economic health
  • leftover income
  • savings
  • expenses
  • financial trends
  • value for money
  • economic forecasts
  • significant increase/decrease
  • spending patterns
What to do next:
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