In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In many places around the world, people encounter
with
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
a
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growing number of violent crimes. Some scientists believe that it depends on harmful scenes on
TV-shows
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TV shows
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and computer
games
. Personally, I tend to think that there is only a tiniest connection between
violence
and
video
games
. Humanity has to find out the best ways to decrease the amount of crimes, especially
violent
Correct pronoun usage
violent ones
show examples
.
This
issue becomes crucial because of
increasing
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an increasing
the increasing
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number of mass shooting incidents taking lots of young lives in many countries. Reasons leading to
violence
have to be determined and eliminated as much as it is possible. Generally,
video
games
do not directly create criminal
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
.
Firstly
,
according to
the information provided by Christopher Ferguson, a psychologist at Stetson University who has studied
video
game
violence
for decades, there is no firm evidence that playing violent
video
games
leads to real-life
violence
— or even aggressive
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
— in kids and teens.
Secondly
, most researchers would agree that criminal
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
is affected by many factors which may combine in different ways for different youth. These factors involve
neighborhoods
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neighbourhoods
show examples
, families, peers, and individual traits and
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
. Scholars,
for example
, have found that living in a violent
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
show examples
and experiencing
violence
as a victim or witness is associated with an increased risk for violent
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
among youth.
On the other hand
, playing
video
games
with atrocious episodes may increase precursors to improper
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
. Regarding
to
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apply
show examples
the data given by
Dr.
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Dr
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Olson, co-founder of the Center for Mental Health and Media at Massachusetts General Hospital,
such
sort of
video
games
may be related to bullying, which experts have found to be a risk factor for more serious deviant
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
.
Thus
, it represents one potentially hazardous effect among others.
To sum up
, I believe that
video
games
do not entail
violence
straight, but can be one of the negative factors among many others. Thereby, mental health has to be improved for society at all.
Submitted by ronadeclaro on

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Introduction
Ensure that your introduction adequately presents the topic and outlines your position on the issue.
Logical Structure
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Conclusion
Provide a more developed conclusion that does not introduce new information, and clearly states your overall viewpoint.
Task Achievement
Make certain you directly answer the question asked, and that your argument clearly presents to what extent you agree or disagree.
Supporting Examples
Provide specific examples that clearly illustrate and reinforce your arguments throughout the essay.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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