IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today family members eat fewer meals together. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative trend?

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Nowadays families tend to reduce the
number
Use synonyms
 of gatherings around the table.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore the main factor, as a vast
number
Use synonyms
 of interactions, and
then
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 explain the negative
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
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, which lead to health disorders. Family issues are being argued, as they tend to have fewer meals together.
For instance
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, the Times provided
the
Correct article usage
a
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 survey which showed that more than 78
percent
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per cent
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 of typical American families do not
having
Change the verb form
have
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 dinner together,
moreover
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, they discovered that the
number
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 of family gatherings decreased because of
technologies
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technology
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, as it is more common to watch videos on social platforms
instead
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 of eating and talking to family members.
Although
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 it is sometimes useful to obtain
a valuable information
Remove the article
valuable information
a piece of valuable information
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, there should not be allowed to use telephones
on
Change preposition
at
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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family gatherings. In my point of view, it
provides
Verb problem
has
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 a negative impact. Eating alone
due to
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 social media or work in leisure time can lead to health disorders.
Furthermore
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, the lack of contact with family members may promote a weak bond among individuals.
For example
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, many individuals suffered disorientation and depression at the time of
outbreak
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the outbreak
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 of coronavirus. If
this
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 trend continues, we will have a vast gap in the family culture. In conclusion, recently family members do not eat together as much as they used to. The reason
of
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for
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 it is an enormous
number
Use synonyms
 of interactions,
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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 social media and video hosting programs, which is a drawback, rather than a positive impact. It is highly recommended to have at least one course together, as gathering has a positive impact on health

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task achievement
Your essay somewhat meets the prompt, but it lacks development in ideas and clear examples. Make sure that each idea or argument is explored in depth and is supported by specific evidence or examples.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is clear, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Fix choppy sentences and ensure that paragraphs flow into each other more seamlessly to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and provide a framework for the essay, but they could be stronger. Make sure your introduction previews the main points concisely and that your conclusion effectively summarizes the arguments without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
While you have provided main points to support your argument, further strengthening these with detailed examples would enhance the essay. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph deals with a single main idea to maintain focus.
task achievement
Make sure your response to the task is complete by addressing all parts of the question thoroughly. Develop your ideas on why eating fewer meals together is a negative trend; mention potential implications and compare them with possible benefits to show a critical evaluation.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • communication
  • bonding
  • interaction
  • quality time
  • technology-free
  • busy schedules
  • work commitments
  • nurturing relationships
  • sharing experiences
  • community spirit
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