The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

#bar #persons #job #type #sex #australia #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The bar chart gives demographic information for employment sectors and gender in Australia

last

Linking Words

year. There were significantly more

men

Use synonyms

than

women

Use synonyms

in management,

production

Correct word choice

and production

show examples

- over 400,00 in each case and 800,000 more for tradesperson roles. When looking at management roles proportionally, they were three times more likely to be filled by

men

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, the gap was largest in trade occupations with

men

Use synonyms

ten times more likely to be doing

this

Linking Words

kind of work. There was a less sizeable difference for labourers and semi-professionals but still considerably more

men

Use synonyms

than

women

Use synonyms

. The only sectors in which there were more

women

Use synonyms

than

men

Use synonyms

were those of semi-professionals and labourers with 150,000 more

women

Use synonyms

in each.

Therefore

Linking Words

, when looking at the figures, you can see that there

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

still a high number of

men

Use synonyms

who were employed in these areas.

Overall

Linking Words

, we can see that there are more

men

Use synonyms

than

women

Use synonyms

in nearly every sector, and even those with a female majority, the figures were close.

This

Linking Words

means that

men

Use synonyms

make up a disproportionate amount of the Australian workforce.

Submitted by amrmohsen12 on Tue Dec 19 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

178 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Employment figures
Sectors
Significant disparities
Gender balance
Skewed
Trends
Patterns
Dominant
Inferred
Labor market
Year-on-year comparison
Insights
Implications

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8.5
band
Some people think the government should subsidise fruit and vegetables to make healthy food more affordable. Others argue that the government should tax unhealthy food instead. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
Health issues arising from consuming excessive amounts of junk food are a cause of great concern in many countries. There are calls for governments to either reduce the prices of healthy foods through subsidies or to raise the costs of unhealthy products through taxation. In my opinion, a combination of the two is the best way forward.
4.5
band
Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?
Entertainment is an important element in the life of people. It help people to decrese the stress of the daily work and had some funny time. It is many formes of entertainment such films , music and sport. In these formes, people loved some actors named stars. Such film stars, pop musician and sports stars. Some people feel that entertainers are paid too much money.
6.5
band
Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?
Some individuals argue that violence through TV and computer games has a negative influence on society while other people say that the impact of television and games is not remarkable. I think television and computer gaming don't have a negative influence on the behaviour of people.
5
band
many schools these days have problems with poor student behaviour
Nowadays, it is becoming common for many schools to have problems with students who behave badly themselves at school. Undoubtedly, this problem has numerous causes. In this essay, I will discuss the causes of this problem and give several solutions.
4
band
Some people feel that we should protect all wild animals. Other people think that only some wild animals should be protected. Discuss both points of view and give your opinon.
Protecting wild animals is a debated topic, with some advocating for the preservation of all species while others suggest a more selective approach. I believe a balanced strategy is necessary with protecting a few of them.

The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

many schools these days have problems with poor student behaviour

Some people feel that we should protect all wild animals. Other people think that only some wild animals should be protected. Discuss both points of view and give your opinon.