The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#rain #water #australian #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The given diagram

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

illustrates

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rain

Correct your spelling

rainwater

show examples

water

harvesting in which

water

is collected and treated to be used as any drinkable liquid in an

Asutralian

Correct your spelling

Australian

town.

Overall

, the process is composed

Change preposition

show examples

5 steps,

firstly

collecting

rain

Correct your spelling

rainwater

show examples

water

and

filter

Wrong verb form

filtering

show examples

it.

Then

storage

tank

Correct article usage

a tank

show examples

where it can be treated with chemicals and

finally

re-distributed to

household

Add an article

the household

a household

show examples

To begin

with, every house is connected

with

Change preposition

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two pipelines, one is linked to collect all

water

Correct article usage

the water

show examples

and

second

Correct article usage

the second

show examples

is used to transport liquid to

water

Correct article usage

the water

show examples

filter.

Where liquid

Rephrase

Liquid

show examples

filteration

take

Correct subject-verb agreement

takes

show examples

place and after the filtration

water

is transported

though

Correct your spelling

through

show examples

pipe

Correct article usage

a pipe

show examples

storage

where all harvested

water

is stored. Another cistern

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

situated

besides

Change preposition

beside

show examples

storage

Correct article usage

the storage

show examples

tank is

water

treatment, where

liquid

Add an article

the liquid

a liquid

show examples

is transported by pipes through

storage

and it will

treated

Change the verb form

treat

show examples

water

by different chemicals and make

water

drinkable.

Then

with the help of

pipelines

Add a comma

pipelines,

show examples

water

is moved for reuse in homes as drinking

water

Submitted by shubhashish.bobby on Tue Dec 19 2023

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words water, storage with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

152 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions

The table below shows the population changes of several animal types from 1977 to 1990. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.