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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graphs below show the size of the ozone hole over Antarctica and the production of three ozone-damaging gases from 1980 to 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the size of the ozone hole over Antarctica and the production of three ozone-damaging gases from 1980 to 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#graphs #show #size #ozone #hole #antarctica #production #three #gases #information #features #comparisons
the line charts give us information about the
size
 of
ozone
Add an article
the ozone
show examples
 hole in thousands
Correct word choice
and
show examples
also
 the
anticipate
Wrong verb form
anticipated
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
three damaging
gases
 to
ozone
Correct article usage
the ozone
show examples
 layer
such
 as
CFC
 11,CFC12 and N2O between 1980 and 2000 ,
overall
Rephrase
apply
show examples
it can be seen that the amount of
ozone
hole
Fix the agreement mistake
holes
show examples
increased dramatically over the period . and both
gases
 B and C rose
sigificantly
Correct your spelling
significantly
in the
ozone
 layer ,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
gase
Correct your spelling
gas
 A
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined . refers to
size
Add an article
the size
show examples
 of
Add an article
the
an
show examples
ozone
 hole over
Antarcita
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
stood at about 100KM ,after following 3 years the
size
 of
Correct article usage
the
show examples
ozone
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
jumped quickly to 2000KM in 1990 ,
then
this
 amount dropped to around 1000KM in 1995 ,
although
 ,in 2000 saw the
size
 of
ozone
Correct article usage
the ozone
show examples
 rose sharply .  regards to
preduction
Correct your spelling
reduction
Change preposition
of
show examples
three damaging
gases
 , on the one
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
 both
destraction
Correct your spelling
destruction
distraction
gases
 like CFC12
as well as
 N2O were
Correct article usage
a
show examples
dramatic rise
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
ozone
Add an article
the ozone
show examples
 layer ,
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 C from 0 to approximately 25 million
tonnes
 , for B from 25 to nearly 45
tonnes
 .
one
Capitalize word
One
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another hand
CFC
 11 fell in significantly , from 65 million
tonnes
 to fairly 5 million
tonnes
 .
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Vocabulary: Replace the words size, ozone, gases, cfc, tonnes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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