Some believe that living in an apartment are advantageous, but other argue it in contrast. Discuss both views.

#believe #apartment #contrast

While

some

people

believe that living in an

apartment

is a negative aspect , I believe that living in an

apartment

is an advantage because

people

have less work to do and when something gets broken renters do not need to pay for it. On the one hand, living in an

apartment

is a negative aspect because

people

have many restrictions

while

living in it

such

as not being able to have visitors without asking

Remove the article

apply

show examples

permission. When they want to celebrate a friend's birthday, they need to ask for it and the number of

people

should be restricted because there is

Correct your spelling

not

show examples

a lot of space. Another thing is that if you have a party, renters are not allowed to hear music

Change preposition

show examples

high volume or other

neighbors

Change the spelling

neighbours

show examples

might report them

with

Change preposition

show examples

the manager.

For instance

, In California, individuals might have a party until 9 pm with

a low music

Remove the article

low music

a piece of low music

show examples

or other

people

have the right to call the police department.

However

, I believe that other

people

need to rest and enjoy a peaceful place to live.

On the other hand

, living in an

apartment

is a positive aspect because individuals do not need to do a lot of

shores

Correct your spelling

chores

show examples

to maintain their space clean.

Firstly

, they do not need to cut the grass because when a person

live

Change the verb form

lives

show examples

in an

apartment

the owner of the building

hire

Change the verb form

hires

show examples

people

to do

this

activity. Another thing, when something gets broken, the renters do not need to

worried

Change the verb

worry

show examples

about it

becuase

Correct your spelling

because

they do not need to pay for it, so

this

situation is a thing they should not be worried

Change preposition

about.

show examples

To illustrate my point, in Anaheim, most of the

apartments's

Change noun form

apartments

show examples

owner

Fix the agreement mistake

owners

show examples

ask

people

to have rental insurance, so

Correct word choice

that if

show examples

something gets broken the agency will pay for it. I believe

this

is a preferable way to live because

people

will not spend more money paying for extra fees. To

conlcude

Correct your spelling

conclude

although

some

people

believe that living in an

apartment

is a disadvantage because they might have rules for living in it, I strongly believe it is more convenient to have

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

responsabilities

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

and not to pay when something is broken. In the future, I believe more young

people

will

chose

Change the verb form

choose

show examples

to live in an

apartment

because it is more convenient to live

this

way.

Submitted by cuevas14dic on Wed Dec 20 2023

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task achievement

You should begin your essay by paraphrasing the prompt to establish the topic and outline the main points you will be discussing. This will make your introduction more effective.

task achievement

Although you have presented both views, make sure your body paragraphs are fully developed with clear topic sentences. Each paragraph should contain one main idea supported by sufficient detail and examples.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your points. Vague references such as 'in California' or 'in Anaheim' do not give enough information. Provide concrete instances that reinforce your argument.

coherence cohesion

Organize your essay into clear paragraphs: an introduction, body paragraphs (one for each view), and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and be linked with the others using cohesive devices.

coherence cohesion

You have presented your arguments and ideas, but ensure greater clarity by focusing on smooth transitions between ideas. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect sentences and ideas more naturally.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to your spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Errors such as 'shores' instead of 'chores', 'do not need to worried' instead of 'do not need to worry', and 'not to pay' instead of 'not paying' can affect your reader's understanding.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

383 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some believe that living in an apartment are advantageous, but other argue it in contrast. Discuss both views.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Directors and managers of organization are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people are very strict about their school uniforms and the apprearance of their pupils, while other schools have a relaxed dress cod

3)Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+