IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from egg to adult fish. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from egg to adult fish. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
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The diagram depicts the
life
Use synonyms
 cycle of a
salmon
Use synonyms
 fish, from the egg to adult through the eight stages of
life
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in the spawning season, the
salmon
Use synonyms
 spouse is commonly seen in the river and doing a reproduction activity to produce egg fish until ready for the incubation process. During the active process, those eggs emerge as a fry and continuously move on the freshwater to rearing underwater towards
estuary
Correct article usage
the estuary
show examples
 position. The next
stages
Fix the agreement mistake
stage
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 of the
salmon
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 cycle is in the ocean, a
salmon
Use synonyms
 group could actively swim in the wider water periodically to
do migration
Wrong verb form
migrate
show examples
 to rearing areas and find the other marine creatures as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vital food
that is
Linking Words
 useful to make a growth in size and weight as an adult fish. The final stage of that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 happens when the
salmon
Use synonyms
 through maturation time which could
seek
Wrong verb form
seeks
show examples
 a different gender of them to generate their
life
Use synonyms
. During the process, both swim far away and find the proper spawning areas as a part of the migration phase to do the reproduction activity.
This
Linking Words
 is an active cycle of
salmon
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 and will be known as a part of the water
life
Use synonyms
 ecosystem.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the eighth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the ninth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words life, salmon with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the eighth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the ninth paragraph.
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