You and your family are moving to another country for work, and you are looking to buy a house there. Write a letter to a property agent. In your letter: •Introduce yourself and your family. •Describe the type of accommodation that you hope to find . •Give your preference for the location of the accommodation.

#country #work #house #property #agent #•introduce #•describe #type #accommodation #hope #•give #location

Dear Mr. Jack, I hope

this

email finds you in radiant health and you are doing well. I am writing

this

letter to express my interest

about

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buying a

house

in your apartment.

Firstly

, I would like to introduce myself.

This

is Faisal from Bangladesh and working in a multinational company as a

huma

Correct your spelling

human

resources professional. I have decided to move

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Canada with my family as I have got permanent residence under

Correct article usage

the provicial

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provicial

Correct your spelling

provincial

nominee program in Manitoba. Currently, I am looking for a good

house

near

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apply

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Winnipeg. As far as I am concerned, you have a nice

house

near

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apply

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Winnipeg in Manitoba. Since I will move with my full family in Canada within

next,

I need a

well furnished

Add a hyphen

well-furnished

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flat having two bedrooms with attached bathroom, dining, living, and kitchen.

In addition

, I got a LMIA approved job in a local manufacturing company near

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apply

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Winnipeg

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apply

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Manitoba which is why I prefer to look for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

accomodation

Correct your spelling

accommodation

around my workstation.

This

is because bus and rail station are available there, which is very convenient for me to commute from my

house

workstation

Correct pronoun usage

my workstation

show examples

. I look forward to hearing from you soon regarding

this

matter. Yours faithfully, Faisal

Submitted by faisalmahamood on Wed Dec 20 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure the letter is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Focus on one idea per paragraph for greater clarity.

Task Achievement

Address all parts of the task fully. Provide a more detailed introduction of yourself and your family, such as ages, interests, and reasons why the accommodation is needed, which could enhance the completeness of your response.

Task Achievement

Consider using a more appropriate and consistent format for a formal letter, including using formal greetings and sign-offs. Avoid using contracted forms to maintain a formal tone.

Coherence & Cohesion

Mind the transition between paragraphs. Consider using linking words or phrases for better flow and to enhance the cohesive devices in the text.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

201 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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