The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three period and whether they were studying full-time and part-time.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain  in three period and whether they were studying full-time and part-time.
There are two bar graphs indicating the number of men and women
where
Correct word choice
who
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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study
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
and
part-
Correct your spelling
part-time
show examples
time
over a period of three years in Britain as shown by the
graph
titles. The
y axis
Add a hyphen
y-axis
show examples
depicts the number of people and the x-axis shows the years.The shape of each
graph
is notable upon first analysis. The Male
graph
depicts people doing
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
education are 800 and
part timers
Add a hyphen
part-timers
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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below 200 over the three years
while
the female
graph
indicates the number of
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
education gradually
increases
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
from 1970 to 1990.
eee
Correct your spelling
I
Submitted by jennimanu926 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Add more linking words.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, graph with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "depicts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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