The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three period and whether they were studying full-time and part-time.

#men #women #education #britain #three #period

There are two bar graphs indicating the number of men and women

where

Correct word choice

who

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

study

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

and

part-

Correct your spelling

part-time

show examples

time

over a period of three years in Britain as shown by the

graph

titles. The

y axis

Add a hyphen

y-axis

show examples

depicts the number of people and the x-axis shows the years.The shape of each

graph

is notable upon first analysis. The Male

graph

depicts people doing

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

education are 800 and

part timers

Add a hyphen

part-timers

show examples

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

below 200 over the three years

while

the female

graph

indicates the number of

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

education gradually

increases

Wrong verb form

increased

show examples

from 1970 to 1990.

eee

Correct your spelling

Submitted by jennimanu926 on Wed Dec 20 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Add more linking words.

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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words time, graph with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 5 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "depicts" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

97 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three period and whether they were studying full-time and part-time.

While studying abroad provides an opportunity to broaden one’s experience, as also present the danger of letting influence from the host culture. How far do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nuclear power is far too dangerous, therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources such as hydroelectric power and solar energy.to what extent do you agree.

In some countries, there has been increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh this disadvantages?

Some people think that in order to solve traffic and transportation problems, people should be encouraged to live in cities rather than in suburbs or in the countryside To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?