IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There have been conflicting views about the subject preference of university students. Whilst some
people
Use synonyms
 opine that it is more essential to get qualified so all students’ endeavour should be in that
area
Use synonyms
, others believe that unrelated
subjects
Use synonyms
 to their main
area
Use synonyms
 can be learned as well which I
also
Linking Words
 definitely agree with.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides of the argument. On one side,
people
Use synonyms
 think that students should give all their energy to their main
subjects
Use synonyms
 to get qualified. They see the topic of becoming knowledgeable on other
subjects
Use synonyms
 can be time-consuming and they don’t want to get distracted from their main aim.
For instance
Linking Words
, if you are an engineering student, you shouldn’t pay any attention to the history classes even if you are interested.
Instead
Linking Words
, you can go to any library to work more on formulas that you learned in the previous lecture.
However
Linking Words
, in my opinion, all
subjects
Use synonyms
 are complementary to each other. Even though it seems like a waste of time it may lead to greater consequences.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
who defence
show examples
defence
Replace the word
defend
show examples
 that learning
other
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 other than your main
area
Use synonyms
 can be complementary and may lead to better outcomes. As an example, even if you are an engineering student, you can take history classes to enhance your point of view by understanding incidents that happened in the past and applying
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 in the future.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if
people
Use synonyms
 wanted to learn more about other
subjects
Use synonyms
 but limited him/herself in order to be successful in their main
area
Use synonyms
, they might get depressed in the long term because of the pressure put on themselves. In conclusion, should the students give all their attention and time to a specific
area
Use synonyms
?
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 see
this
Linking Words
 as a distraction, others opine that it may concluded in a better way. In my opinion, all
subjects
Use synonyms
 are complementary to each other and individuals should ameliorate themselves in any
area
Use synonyms
 they are interested in.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
In your introduction, make sure to clearly paraphrase the prompt and state your thesis. Your conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position more definitively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer and stronger thesis statement that guides the reader through the essay. Make sure your argument progresses logically from introduction to conclusion, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea.
task achievement
Provide specific and relevant examples to support your points. Whenever you make a claim or present an argument, back it up with evidence, data, or real-world examples.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: