Leaders and directors in organizations are normally older people. Some people think having a younger leader would be better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Commonly speaking, heads of institutions are older members of society.
According to
some
people
's
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
younger administrators would influence the management system in a better way. I am inclined to agree with both of the ideas for a number of convincing reasons. The first idea set out can be true for two solid reasons I am about to explain. Since the beginning of
humanity
Add a comma
humanity,
show examples
elderly
people
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
always respected and almost every idea, they put forward
were
Verb problem
has
show examples
always supported without any doubt. The second reason, based on a stereotype, is that older members of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
are seen as more experienced and omniscient individuals,
hence
directors of associations,
enterprises
Correct word choice
and enterprises
show examples
often
Add a missing verb
are often
show examples
found to be older
people
. Regarding the second idea
that is
claimed, I utterly agree that well-educated younger
people
would make a better
leader
Fix the agreement mistake
leaders
show examples
as they are full of energy,
open
Correct word choice
and open
show examples
to
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
show examples
new management techniques for the best of their workplace.
For instance
,
young
Add an article
the young
a young
show examples
ambitious worker would go through sleepless nights to create a project that can benefit
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the company and their career and that can be realised thanks to their robust health. In my view,
this
derives from the urge to prove themselves in society as a prosperous young leader.
To sum up
, I am in agreement with the opinion that chiefs of
people
in organizations are generally older
people
due to
their work experience and
reputation
Correct article usage
the reputation
show examples
they collected over the years.
However
, I
also
believe that in times of acute competition where everyone is dealing with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern technology and methods younger generation can overcome the challenge better.
Submitted by zeynalli.tarana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay is well-organised with a clear progression of ideas. Use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively.
coherence cohesion
Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and follow with supporting sentences that develop the main idea. Use cohesive devices appropriately to connect ideas within and across paragraphs, but avoid overusing them.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, providing a clear position throughout the response. Expand your main ideas thoroughly and balance the development of ideas between paragraphs.
task achievement
Clarify your points by using specific examples and details that are directly relevant to the argument. General examples are helpful, but specific examples demonstrate a clearer understanding of the topic and provide stronger support for your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • strategic foresight
  • emotional intelligence
  • demographics
  • innovative
  • mentorship
  • collaboration
  • adaptability
  • networking
  • holistic approach
  • intergenerational
  • visionary
  • inspire
  • progressive
  • technological acumen
  • agility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: