IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Give your opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
Some in the community
that
is
Verb problem
apply
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the best way is to accept situations like disappointing jobs and
absence
Correct article usage
the absence
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 of money,
while
 losers think it’s always better to try and refine these grounds.
This
 essay hopes to debate both these views and
arrives
Correct subject-verb agreement
arrive
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 at a viable derivation On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand,
community
Correct article usage
the community
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 are of the opinion that difficulties
such
 as frustrating jobs and lack of money are common to all, and the best decision is to accept the situation as it is. to elaborate feature., there are
thousand
Correct your spelling
thousands
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 of less fortunate people in our society, who can’t even
give
Verb problem
have
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 basic human needs
such
 as food, clothing and housing.
Also
, some
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 been continuously warring without a job.
therefore
, having something is always better than nothing, Even if
those
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
are
Verb problem
does
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 not
perform
Verb problem
meet
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 expected standards.
For example
, most African countries have to depend on various organisations for food assistance.
On the other hand
, there are many alternatives to refine bad situations. To explain
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 feature, nothing will improve without
is
Correct your spelling
it
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 a try. I am a firm believer
set
Correct pronoun usage
that set
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 improvements are always possible with a correct type of attitude and a considerable amount of effort.
For instance
, there are hundreds of scholarship programmes to help those In need. Not only that., recorded success stories can be seen
over
Rephrase
all over
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 the world. In conclusion,
although
 there are many reasons for people to accept all unfavourable circumstances, I strongly
believes
Change the verb form
believe
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 that these can be improved in many ways to reach the expected level of success
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Introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the purpose of the essay and presents a clear thesis statement. Your introduction seems too vague and doesn't effectively set up the argument.
Logical Structure
Work on creating a more logical flow of ideas with clearer and more effective transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
Conclusion
Include a proper conclusion that summarizes the main points of your essay and reiterates your opinion clearly.
Task Response
Make sure to fully respond to all parts of the task, providing a more balanced view before stating your opinion.
Lexical Resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to clearly convey your ideas and examples.
Supporting Examples
Provide specific examples that are directly relevant to the arguments you are making, to support your points more effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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