The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. write atleast 150 words.

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These two pictures
shows
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show
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the plan of the Grange
Park
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which was opened in the year 1920 and the current plan of the
park
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today. At first glance of the old
park
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,
it is clear that
Linking Words
there few renovations
taken
Wrong verb form
taking
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place presently.There are two
enterances
Correct your spelling
entrances
to the
park
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,one is on
the
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apply
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Arnold Avenue and the other is
at
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on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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eldon
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Eldon
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street. On
enetering
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entering
from
the
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apply
show examples
Arnold Avenue towards the right seats n .
the
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apply
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either side of the rose garden is taken currently and the stage for the musicians is replaced by the Amphitheatre for concerts.The Fountain which was presented before is replaced by the rose garden with
chair
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a chair
the chair
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to sit surrounding the garden.
Main
Correct article usage
The main
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changes
Correct pronoun usage
that hanve
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hanve
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have
taken place
from
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apply
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before
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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thtat
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that
instead
Linking Words
of
pond
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the pond
a pond
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for water plants there is a children's play area and glasshouse and sitouts
and
Correct word choice
apply
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removed and there s
beautiful
Correct article usage
a beautiful
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water feature currently. One of the main drastic
plan
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plans
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is the construction of the underground car
park
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which was not before is presented today.
Submitted by jennimanu926 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure by organizing your essay into distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the comparison between the old and new park plans.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction that outlines the main purpose of the essay, as well as a conclusion that summarizes the key points made and any implications or results thereby.
supported main points
Provide a clear comparison, point by point if necessary, of the features that have changed from the original park to its current state. Ensure that each comparison is easy to follow.
task achievement
While the response covers the task, it lacks comprehensive details and clear examples to paint a vivid picture for the reader. It's crucial to include more specific information that aligns with the visuals provided.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay needs to expand on ideas further, delineating them clearly for better comprehension. Ensure complex information is broken down and clearly explained.
relevant specific examples
Use specific examples to support the changes that have taken place in the park between 1920 and the present day. The more relevant and detailed these examples are, the stronger your essay will be.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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