Some educational systems make students study specialised subjects from the age of ﬁfteen while others require students to study a wide range. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#systems #students #study #subjects #age #ﬁfteen #range

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There is ongoing debate regarding whether educational systems should initiate youths from the age of fifteen to study professional

subjects

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

of pervasive learning.

This

Linking Words

essay will explore both perspectives and arrive at my own conclusion. In the contemporary era, it is widely agreed that the environment in workplaces has become more demanding than ever before, and

people

Use synonyms

equipped with specialized skills are common. Focusing on studying specific

subjects

Use synonyms

is one of the most significant advantages in

this

Linking Words

competitive society because experts in professional fields can always overcome challenges that we face in the workplace.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, what is

also

Linking Words

noteworthy is that

people

Use synonyms

studying the knowledge in-depth are usually capable of conducting a comprehensive tutorial for newcomers since they are familiar with the professional domain.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are

also

Linking Words

a few merits that study a wide range of

subjects

Use synonyms

. It is undeniable that pervasive learning is beneficial to students. In the epoch-making era, a considerable number of companies like Google and Facebook opt to recruit young

people

Use synonyms

with various abilities, and studying diverse

subjects

Use synonyms

is the most efficient approach to acquiring substantial knowledge.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it is essential for every worker to adapt to work environments. With a wide amount of learning, young

people

Use synonyms

can have more choices in future careers. In conclusion, it is evident that both learning specific and broad

subjects

Use synonyms

can bring positive effects. From my perspective, educational systems must strike a delicate balance between various strategies for diverse youngsters. What the fuck bro, suckers.

Submitted by seanlin12345 on Thu Dec 21 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay contains a logical structure in the introduction and conclusion sections, but there is significant room for improvement in organising ideas throughout the essay. Creating clearer transitions and maintaining a logical flow between sentences and paragraphs could enhance coherence.

Task Achievement

The essay completes the task partially because it discusses both sides of the argument and includes a conclusion. However, the level of detail and development of ideas is limited. Ideas need to be more fully expanded upon with clear examples to reach a higher score.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

250 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Government should invest more money in science education rather than other subjects to develop the country. Do you agree or disagree?
Some people opine that in order to develop a country, the government should spend their funds on science education rather than other subjects like literature and languages. While we can not deny the impact of science on the expansion of a country, other factors rather than just science are important too. Therefore, I partially agree with the above opinion.
6.5
band
You have just received a credit card statement from your bank. The statement lists a number of expensive purchases that you are sure you did not make. Write a letter to the bank manager. In the letter: • Introduce yourself. • Explain that you did not buy the items listed. • Say what you would like the bank to do to fix the problem
My name is Vitor, I am a Thai monk. l have been living in London for 3 months. As you know, I have been using a credit card for 2 months. I am writing this letter to you because l have a problem with my credit card.
7
band
With increasing populations and ever growing urban centers, many countries are losing their natural beauty spots. What benefits are there to protecting places of natural beauty? How can this be solved?
The human population is exploding at an alarming rate, requiring more resources to build residential areas and factories. As a result, natural beauty venues are being diminished to accommodate human demands. This issue could be deterred by enforcing stringent punishments and robust judicial efforts. In this essay, I will also discuss the benefits of preserving these locations.
6.5
band
Is forcing students to study hard at school a good idea? Agree or disagree?
Since education has become a crucial part of human's lives, many argue about the pressure which is created by forcing them to have an excessive load of studying. In my point of view, I believe that the increasing of those pressures on the school and university is a good thing.
<4
band
countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
This line graph displays some informaitons about the population with percentage in four Asian countries staying in cities between 1970 to 2020, and the perdictions for 2030 and 2040.

Some educational systems make students study specialised subjects from the age of ﬁfteen while others require students to study a wide range. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Government should invest more money in science education rather than other subjects to develop the country. Do you agree or disagree?

With increasing populations and ever growing urban centers, many countries are losing their natural beauty spots. What benefits are there to protecting places of natural beauty? How can this be solved?

Is forcing students to study hard at school a good idea? Agree or disagree?

countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.