IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#show #percentage #time #adults #activities #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The chart illustrates the proportion of
time
Use synonyms
 activities that were spent by mature people in a state in 1958 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are six categories of spending
time
Use synonyms
 which the working activity was the most popular one. In 1858, many adults were spending the majority of their
time
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working with 33%. Sleeping
time
Use synonyms
 was
also
Linking Words
hight
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
 at 32%, compared to the lowest that can be seen in
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to work at just 2%. People who decided to go out with their
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 or family were
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the third trending on leisure
time
Use synonyms
 at 19%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, other interests or playing sports and relaxing at home
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 counted just under 10%.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 year, in 2008, killing
time
Use synonyms
 on working became more popular (42%) compared to the first year given.
Additionally
Linking Words
, sleeping and relaxing at home were 25% and 13% respectively. The
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 three categories can be seen
just
Change preposition
as just
show examples
 under 10% where going out was the lowest (6%).
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie chart
  • percentage
  • activities
  • working adults
  • summarise
  • report
  • main features
  • comparisons
  • relevant
  • time spent
  • work-related
  • leisure
  • personal care
  • travel
  • noticeable trends
  • over a period
  • devoted
  • significant changes
  • contrast
  • compare
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