The chart below shows the amount of lesiure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.

The chart below shows the amount of lesiure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
the bar chart depicts the amount of free
time
in a week based on gender and job status from 1998 to 1999.
overall
unemployed and retired are the majority who have free
time
among the status.
to begin
with, full-
time
employed
Replace the word
employees
show examples
had free
time
about 50
hours
for males and 38
hours
for females in a week.
in contrast
, housewives spent a similar amount of
hours
with male full-
time
employed at 51
hours
respectively.
furthermore
, female part-
time
employees had 40
hours
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
leisure
time
.
on the other hand
, unemployed and retired experienced over 80
hours
for males and 75
hours
for females, these figures are the peak on the chart. to draw
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
conclusion, employed full-
time
had the least
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
leisure
time
and unemployed and retired had the highest
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
leisure
time
.
Submitted by syifensaft on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, hours with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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