IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

platforms most used for international news content, United Kingdom, 2019

#platforms #news #content #kingdom
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The pie chart illustrates that international
news
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 content consumed from various
platforms
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 by
people
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 in the United Kingdom in 2019
Overall
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, television became the most used
source
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 of
platform
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 for
news
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 content than other
platforms
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.
A pproximately
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Approximately
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 half of
news
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 content was contributed by
televisin
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television
televisin'
 followed by
otjher
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other
platforms
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. By analysing
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the
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te
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the
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 data, television
source
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 was the biggest
platform
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 used by the
people
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, it was about 43% and
by
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apply
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compared with other
platforms
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 ,
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television
televison
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television
source
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 contributes approximately half the percentage of
whole
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the whole
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contribution
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 and
platforms
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 like social media ,
other
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and other
show examples
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internet and
internet
internetand
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internet
 not interested
contributes
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contribute
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 about approximately half the percentage of the whole
contribution
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 The least percentage
og
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of
platform
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 used by
people
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 was word of mouth about 1% followed by radio
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platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
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 4% and printed
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news papers
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newspapers
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 twice the
percentahe
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percentage
pf
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of
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 radio
source
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. The other internet and not interested
plaatforms
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platforms
shares
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share
show examples
same
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the same
show examples
 amount of
contribution
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 about 15% each. At the same
time
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time,
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 social media contributed twice
thepercentage
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the percentage
 of printed
newspapers
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newspaper platforms
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platform
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,
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add the comma(s)
contrast,
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 three different
platforms
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like
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apply
show examples
word of mouth, printed newspapers and
radionsources
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resources
 as a whole only
contributes
Wrong verb form
contributed
show examples
 about 13% which was much lower than
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contribution
Correct article usage
the contribution
show examples
 by
platforms
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such
Linking Words
 as
socal
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social
 media, other internet
platforms
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 and television
platforms
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 by
people
Use synonyms
 in the United Kingdom in 2019.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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structure
The essay lacks a solid introduction and conclusion. Work on providing a clear thesis statement in the introduction and a summarizing conclusion that reflects the key points discussed.
grammar
There are noticeable issues with sentence structure and grammar that hinder the clarity of the message. It's important to ensure accurate grammar and syntax to convey ideas more effectively.
coherence
Be sure to present your ideas in a logical order and use linking words to improve the flow of your essay. This helps in achieving a coherent structure that is easy for readers to follow.
content
While you presented the data, there's a lack of in-depth analysis and synthesis of information. Work on expanding and explaining your points more thoroughly.
evidence
When providing data, use specific examples and figures to back up your statements. This strengthens your arguments and demonstrates an understanding of the details in the chart.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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