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Band 3

platforms most used for international news content, United Kingdom, 2019

#platforms #news #content #kingdom
The pie chart illustrates that international
news
 content consumed from various
platforms
 by
people
 in the United Kingdom in 2019
Overall
, television became the most used
source
 of
platform
 for
news
 content than other
platforms
.
A pproximately
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Approximately
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 half of
news
 content was contributed by
televisin
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television
televisin'
 followed by
otjher
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other
platforms
. By analysing
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the
show examples
te
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the
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 data, television
source
 was the biggest
platform
 used by the
people
, it was about 43% and
by
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apply
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compared with other
platforms
 ,
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television
televison
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television
source
 contributes approximately half the percentage of
whole
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the whole
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contribution
 and
platforms
 like social media ,
other
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and other
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internet and
internet
internetand
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internet
 not interested
contributes
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contribute
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 about approximately half the percentage of the whole
contribution
 The least percentage
og
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of
platform
 used by
people
 was word of mouth about 1% followed by radio
platform
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platforms
show examples
 4% and printed
news papers
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newspapers
show examples
 twice the
percentahe
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percentage
pf
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of
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 radio
source
. The other internet and not interested
plaatforms
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platforms
shares
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share
show examples
same
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the same
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 amount of
contribution
 about 15% each. At the same
time
Add a comma
time,
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 social media contributed twice
thepercentage
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the percentage
 of printed
newspapers
Fix the agreement mistake
newspaper platforms
show examples
platform
,
In
contrast
Add the comma(s)
contrast,
show examples
 three different
platforms
like
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apply
show examples
word of mouth, printed newspapers and
radionsources
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resources
 as a whole only
contributes
Wrong verb form
contributed
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 about 13% which was much lower than
contribution
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the contribution
show examples
 by
platforms
such
 as
socal
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social
 media, other internet
platforms
 and television
platforms
 by
people
 in the United Kingdom in 2019.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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structure
The essay lacks a solid introduction and conclusion. Work on providing a clear thesis statement in the introduction and a summarizing conclusion that reflects the key points discussed.
grammar
There are noticeable issues with sentence structure and grammar that hinder the clarity of the message. It's important to ensure accurate grammar and syntax to convey ideas more effectively.
coherence
Be sure to present your ideas in a logical order and use linking words to improve the flow of your essay. This helps in achieving a coherent structure that is easy for readers to follow.
content
While you presented the data, there's a lack of in-depth analysis and synthesis of information. Work on expanding and explaining your points more thoroughly.
evidence
When providing data, use specific examples and figures to back up your statements. This strengthens your arguments and demonstrates an understanding of the details in the chart.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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