You have just read an article in an international travel magazine which contained some information about your town that is incorrect. Write a letter to the editor of the magazine. In your letter: correct the information in the article explain why it is important for the magazine to give correct information suggest what the magazine should do about this situation

#article #travel #magazine #information #town #editor #situation

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Dear Sir or Madam,

This

is Isa Azim. I am writing

this

letter to complain about the article that has been published in your international magazine.

Last

Monday, 22nd September, when I was travelling to Canada, I noticed your journal which was offered to the flight's passengers for free. I read an article about my country, Iran and it covered numerous misinformation about Iranian historical and cultural issues.

For instance

, it is an obligation for Iranian women the wear hejab and it is not related to our culture

hence

, the writer convey the wrong data to other nations.

Moreover

, our pre-Islamic history is far richer and well-known in comparison with the eras after the Muslim invasion of my country.

Besides

, as an architect, it is not acceptable something you call Islamic architecture. It is our traditional construction which has been aligned with Iranian religious beliefs after Islam. It is suggested to write an announcement in your next magazine and publish an amendment about the previous article and for the next articles, the editors should show more obsessive before they tend to publish. In my point of view, it is pivotal for your booklet, as a famous travel magazine, to present the correct facts or it may cause misinterpretation by your addressees . If not, it may disrupt your competence as a reliable source. It would be appreciated if you take the necessary actions promptly. My contact number and email address are attached to the letter for more enquiries. I would be in access after 6pm. Yours sincerely Isa Azim

Submitted by eesa.azim on Fri Dec 22 2023

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task achievement

Your letter addresses some parts of the task, but more details could be added to fully satisfy all components of the task such as suggesting specific actions the magazine should take beyond a general amendment.

task achievement

Ensure the tone is consistently formal throughout your letter, and avoid using contractions to maintain formality. Reference the article's details more specifically to enhance the tone.

coherence cohesion

Structure the letter more logically by introducing the problem, explaining the inaccuracies, and then offering solutions in separate paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing are appropriate, but the introduction and conclusion could be more impactful by stating your intentions and summarizing your hopes for resolution clearly.

coherence cohesion

Focus each paragraph on a single idea, for example, one paragraph for the incorrect information, another for why accuracy is important, and a third for your suggestions.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

259 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Rectify
Misrepresentation
Tourism
Editor
Credibility
Accuracy
Local heritage
Fact-checking
Repercussions
Counteractive measures
Publishing ethics
Clarification
Factual error
Misconception
Authenticity

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