IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The world of work is changing rapidly. Working conditions today are not the same as before and people no longer rely on taking one job for life. Describe the possible causes and give suggestion on how people should prepare for work in the future.

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These days, the way of work has changed rapidly as compared to the past period, and
as a result
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,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to try
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different jobs
instead
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 of staying in
one
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 occupation.
Due to
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 the globalisation and own
business
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. Soft
skills
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 and technical
skills
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are play
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 a crucial role in
future
Use synonyms
 work requirements. There are some causes of
people
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 do not rely on
one
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job
Use synonyms
 rather than tend to try many occupations.
One
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 of the major causes is that globalisation,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
brings more trade jobs
among
Change preposition
to
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world
Add an article
the world
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, and
as a result
Linking Words
, the population have multifarious employment opportunities,
therefore
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, they try many jobs in their life
instead
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 of relying
in
Change the preposition
on
upon
show examples
one
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 work. Another reason is that mankind
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 their own
business
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while
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 they tend to try other kinds of
business
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 too because they have more knowledge and experience in
this
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 particular field.
For example
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, a recent report
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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done by the Times of India said that 40% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Indians do
multi
Correct word choice
multiple
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 businesses
instead
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 of
relying
Add the preposition
relying on
relying upon
show examples
 and earning
one
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.
This
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 can give more financial benefits
of do
Verb problem
than
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 not staying in
one
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 employment.
However
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, in the
future
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,
job
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 market requirements will change as compared to now. To clarify, soft
skills
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 and technical
skills
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should
Verb problem
are
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need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 for
people
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 will get
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 in
future
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 because technology will be occupied in each and every sector, so, these abilities are mandatory.
For instance
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, technical
skills
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 will require not only the science and technology fields but
also
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 the political, transportation and fashion sectors. If a person
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not
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this
Add a missing verb
have this
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 skill, he will not get employment and will suffer economically.
Hence
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, these soft
skills
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 and technical
skills
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 are
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 utmost importance for getting
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 occupation in
future
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.
To conclude
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, individuals tend to try
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of occupations in their life
instead
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 of relying
in
Change the preposition
on
upon
show examples
one
Use synonyms
due to
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 globalisation
as well as
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 doing
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
business
Use synonyms
.
People
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 should need these two
skills
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like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
soft
skills
Use synonyms
 and technical
skills
Use synonyms
 to get
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
 in
future
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should set the stage for the discussion, the body paragraphs should each discuss a coherent idea with supporting details, and the conclusion should effectively summarize the essay's main points.
coherence cohesion
Use transitions effectively between sentences and paragraphs to improve the logical flow of ideas. Clear transitions can guide the reader through the argument and help to maintain coherence in the writing.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with specific, relevant examples and explanations. This helps to strengthen your arguments and make your writing more persuasive.
task achievement
Make sure to fully respond to all parts of the task prompt. It's important to address all aspects of the question, including causes and suggestions for preparation for future work.
task achievement
Express ideas clearly and in a comprehensive manner, ensuring that the reader can easily understand your arguments. Avoid ambiguity and be concise in your writing.
task achievement
Draw on relevant examples to support your points. These examples should be specific and directly related to the topic at hand. They can be drawn from current affairs, personal experience, or other credible sources to add depth to your writing.
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