the diagram below shows the stages involved in producing one bottle of wine

the diagram below shows the stages  involved in producing one bottle of wine
The illustration presents an overview of the key stages involved in the manufacturing of red wine from three main steps namely preparation , processing , collecting and packaging. The whole
process
of red wine when
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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selected.
Following
this
, they are kept in anaerobic condition for 2 to 3 weeks.
After
this
particular
stage
has finished, grapes are crushed in a crushing machine. Once
this
particular
stage
in the manufacturing
process
has been completed it is
then
followed by being fermented, a
process
which results in skins,stems and
free run
Add a hyphen
free-run
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juice.
While
the former are pressed in a drainer machine, the latter is skinless fermented and fed back to a pot ale.
Subsequently
, the skinless mixture is clarified,
it
Correct word choice
and it
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is filtered simultaneously to remove impurities.
After
this
, the mixture is matured in the oaken cast from 6 to 24 months.
Subsequently
, a penultimate
stage
such
as taste adjustment with an addition of acid ,
sugar
Correct word choice
and sugar
show examples
is carried out. It
then
leads to the final
stage
of the
process
where they are packaged in bottles.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "after this, subsequently".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, stage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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