Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compusory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Handful
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A handful
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of people think that volunteering activities are very necessary for
the
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apply
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students
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, especially those who are now in
highschool
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high school
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. And I strongly agree that these programmes will help
students
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to develop their physical
health
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,
mental
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and mental
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health
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and
also
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increase the opportunities to have a career in the future. First of all, when
students
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take part in unpaid community service they can enhance their social
skills
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such
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as communication
skills
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and
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also
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apply
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relationships. It
also
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means that they will be more self-confident to interact with others and gain life satisfaction which they can not have if they are at
school
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or home.
For example
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, nowadays, Vietnamese
students
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tend to participate in some clubs so they can gain more soft
skills
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and life experiences.
In addition
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, when unpaid community service becomes a compulsory part
in
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of
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school
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programmes,
this
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will allow
students
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to reduce stress after
school
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. Because
this
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day,
students
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have to learn a lot of things not just at
school
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but
also
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in some extra classes which their parents want them to learn. So that will lead to some
students
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having problems
about
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with
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physical
health
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such
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as depression because of their parent’s high expectations. A great example of
this
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is our bodies, when we do some intense activities which will involve volunteering programmes
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then
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our bodies will produce a kind of hormone which can help us increase happiness. In conclusion, I am firmly convinced that volunteer work needs to be a vital part
in
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of
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education
program
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programs
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and should not be overlooked.
This
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is
due to
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the opportunities to maintain the physical and mental
health
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of
students
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and
also
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improve their soft
skills
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.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a central idea and is expanded with specific details and examples to maintain coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs, and check for overused expressions or redundancies.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but make sure the thesis statement in your introduction is clear and the conclusion effectively summarises the essay's arguments without introducing new information.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, providing a clear position throughout the essay.
task achievement
Develop ideas fully by expanding on how unpaid community service can impact career opportunities, as these ideas are only briefly mentioned.
task achievement
Incorporate specific examples and personal experiences to illustrate your points and increase relevancy.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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