IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The graph shows in percentage terms the changing patterns of domestic access to modern technology in homes in the UK.

The graph shows in percentage terms the changing patterns of domestic access to modern technology in homes in the UK.
#percentage #terms #patterns #access #technology #homes #uk
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In homes in the
UK
Add a comma
UK,
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people
Use synonyms
 have changing patterns of domestic access to modern
technology
Use synonyms
. Modern technologies are more useful things,so 83% of
people
Use synonyms
 are using
that
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. In the UK most
using
Verb problem
apply
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modern
technology
Use synonyms
 is a
CD
Use synonyms
player
Use synonyms
.In 1996 60% of
people
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
used
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 but in 2002/2003 83% of
people
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
Use synonyms
CD
Correct article usage
a CD
show examples
player
Use synonyms
. It is the most percentages than others.
However
Linking Words
, Mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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also
Linking Words
 more
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
. It was not popular in 1996 but in 2003/2002 65%
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
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 started
use
Change the form of the verb
using
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 it.
By contrast
Linking Words
 mobile phones,
computers
Correct word choice
and computers
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 are no more popular than they used to be. In the beginning, computers were used more often, but they were replaced by mobile phones. The most unused
technology
Use synonyms
 was Internet access. They were not popular at the beginning and after
Linking Words
while
Correct article usage
a while
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 too. The most popular modern
technology
Use synonyms
 was
Use synonyms
CD
Correct article usage
the CD
show examples
player
Use synonyms
 and in
the
Change the article
apply
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2002/2003 too.
Although
Linking Words
,mobile
phone’s
Change noun form
phones
show examples
 usage
grow
Wrong verb form
has grown
show examples
 they have not become more used than the
CD
Use synonyms
player
Use synonyms
. Internet access was the most unpopular and remained the same.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, technology, cd, player with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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