In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for every fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In a lot of countries, some of the population believe spending
money
on developing public
transportation
should be done,
whereas
other citizens think
this
action should be an appeal to establish new
railway
lines for every city's fast
trains
. might be
due to
the fact that the cost of public
transportation
is cheaper than the new
railway
. In
this
essay, both sides will be explained. first of all, the cost of public
transportation
is lower than other vehicles and
this
situation inspired populations to use these vehicles more.
furthermore
, easier access to every side of the
country
and exist lots of stations for a variety of public
transportation
can be excellent choices for choosing them.
However
, there are some problems with using general
transportation
which can influence
people
.
Although
cheaper tickets are undeniable, whether public
transportation
in a crowded city is debatable. One of the problems is probably the effect on the feelings of
people
because public
transportation
doesn't have any place to rest or sleep and passengers have to sit until arrive.
Although
,
trains
have many places for taking the rest.
Moreover
, high-speed
trains
can arrive passengers at their destination as soon as possible. what's more, when
people
can go to work they can arrive exactly at a precise time because of the lack of traffic, so
this
situation can cause less stress on
people
to arrive
lately
Rephrase
late
show examples
to their work. One other advantage of giving
money
to
railway
lines is the
country
's development. One of the best facilities in countries that all the travellers consider is a good
railway
for movement.
people
who come from another
country
can be excellent experts in every
country
.
thus
, I agree with spending
money
on building a
railway
for swift
trains
.
to sum up
, giving
money
to the
railway
can put less stress on a variety of humans and they can arrive at work on time. despite cheap tickets that belong to public
transportation
, I would agree that spending a lot of
money
on the
railway
can cause the development of every
country
.
Submitted by ziba.gharehnazifam on

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coherence cohesion
The essay does not adhere to a clear, logical structure throughout, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow your line of argument. You should organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic, and utilize cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction provides a general overview of the topic, which is a good practice; however, it fails to clearly state your position on the matter. The conclusion similarly summarizes the essay but doesn't accentuate your opinion distinctly. Both should be concise yet explicit about your viewpoint to comply with the requirements of the essay task.
task achievement
You have addressed the task partially, discussing some reasons for improving railways and public transportation, but the main ideas are not always clear or are incompletely developed. Enhance your task response by defining your ideas more clearly and sufficiently expanding on them to ensure that you meet the task's requirements comprehensively.
task achievement
Your essay includes some general examples to support your points; however, they lack specificity and relevance to the given task. To improve, incorporate more detailed and directly relevant examples that directly relate to and support the points you are attempting to make.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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