the maps below show the centre of samll town called Islip as it is now,and plans for its development. summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

the maps below show the centre of samll town called Islip as it is now,and plans for its development.

summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.
These days the population of some
countries
(most
countries
) includes a relatively large
number
of young
adults
, Compared with the
number
of older
people
. Most
people
don
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
not want to have children.
This
is possible for various reasons, including child care
expensive
Replace the word
expenses
show examples
, deterioration of societies and other reasons. In
this
essay, I will explore the
adventages
Correct your spelling
advantages
and disadvantages of
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
number
of young
adults
, Compared with the
number
of older
people
. I will start by looking at the advantages. One of the important advantages of
this
major is that older
people
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have more experience and they can help society and young
adults
. It can help
governments
to run
countries
.
Secondly
, young
adults
can not run the startup and big business
however
older
people
can run the new startup because they have money and they can produce work. When
produce
Change the verb form
producing
show examples
work, The economy grows, And
countries
can become rich.
On the other hand
, The workforce will decrease, Because older
people
after
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
retirement age, can not work correctly and many jobs are lost. So
governments
need
workforce
Correct article usage
a workforce
show examples
and are
fored
Correct your spelling
forced
formed
to accept immigrants.
This
may bring many social and economic damages,
Such
as the loss of culture and inflation for the
people
who live in that country.
Also
, If one country
Add a missing verb
has the
show examples
the
Change the article
a
show examples
large
number
of young
adults
, Compared with the
number
of older
people
,
governments
should spend more money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
insurance. Every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
when they reach retirement age,
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
insurance, And the duty of insurance and spending for the elderly is the responsibility of the
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
conclusion, It is not good for
governments
that the
number
of young
adults
less than older
people
. So government are trying to accept young immigrants to fill
this
gap.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, number, adults, people, governments with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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