some people say history is one of the most important schools subjects. Other people think, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #history #schools #subjects #world #science #technology

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One of the vital schools subject

according

Add the preposition

according to

show examples

opinion of some people is

history

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, others tend to assume

science

Use synonyms

and

technology

Use synonyms

are playing more crucial roles than

history

Use synonyms

. I believe that both

history

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science

Use synonyms

and

technology

Use synonyms

have similar parts in educational matters. It was caused by

history

Use synonyms

becoming our media to know about the journey that happened in the past and to raise our

nationalism

Use synonyms

Besides

Linking Words

, we have to learn about

science

Use synonyms

and

technology

Use synonyms

in order to get a detailed understanding of

history

Use synonyms

and to learn about

history

Use synonyms

learning becomes more interesting.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the Importance of learning about

history

Use synonyms

is to know about the journey that happened in the past. Students will know about the origin of how life was created and how the environment gives huge benefits to the human race. If they know a lot of information about

this

Linking Words

, they realize and be grateful because they live in the present time with comfortable facilities and safe conditions.

For example

Linking Words

, pupils learn about Second

war

Capitalize word

War

show examples

history

Use synonyms

which

this

Linking Words

condition is fulfilled by misery, starvation and fear. They will raise their gratitude to God

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because born at the present time.

However

Linking Words

, sometimes several students are bored with learning

history

Use synonyms

through textbooks, which is why it is important to learn about

history

Use synonyms

on the Internet. To explore

history

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content is surely needed capabilities in

technology

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In addition

Linking Words

history

Use synonyms

like Bigbang relates to the

science

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field, in order to get a detailed understanding, they have to study

science

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

history

Use synonyms

tells about the people's struggle in past will raise

nationalism

Use synonyms

In particular

Linking Words

chapter in

history

Use synonyms

knowledge

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

consists of a story about how a country fought an independence from colonialists. From

this

Linking Words

narrative, generation-like students indirectly feel pity and have huge empathy for heroes who struggled in the past.

History

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

can be an evaluation and description for pupils as citizens to defend the state's sovereignty.

For example

Linking Words

, Indonesia has been colonized by invaders for a long time.

This

Linking Words

story is written

Change preposition

show examples

history

Use synonyms

. Everyone who reads that

historyhistory

Correct your spelling

history

will raise

nationalism

Use synonyms

to preserve Indonesia. In conclusion,

History

Use synonyms

Science

Use synonyms

and

technology

Use synonyms

are the important subjects at school to learn.

History

Use synonyms

will give us information about the journey that happened in the past.

In addition

Linking Words

, it

also

Linking Words

raises our

nationalism

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

Science

Use synonyms

and

technology

Use synonyms

are

also

Linking Words

necessary, they will give us a detailed understanding when study deeply about

history

Use synonyms

, and learning becomes more interesting.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Sun Dec 24 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay does not clearly state the topic and the interpretation of the subject matter is convoluted with significant grammatical errors that impede the meaning.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear introduction or conclusion, with ideas presented in a somewhat disjointed or abrupt manner.

coherence cohesion

The essay fails to elaborate with specific examples to support the main points effectively.

task achievement

The task is superficially addressed and ideas are neither fully extended nor supported with clear, related examples.

task achievement

The main points are not clearly articulated, leading to a lack of comprehensive ideas presented in the essay.

task achievement

There is a failure to include relevant and specific examples to substantiate the arguments presented within the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

400 words

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some people say history is one of the most important schools subjects. Other people think, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Parents should encourage their children to spend less time on studying and more time on physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The process below shows about make bread in factory.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people view teenage conflict with their parents a necessary part of growing up, whilst others see it as something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.