some people say history is one of the most important schools subjects. Other people think, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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One of the vital schools subject
according
Add the preposition
according to
show examples
opinion of some people is
history
.
However
, others tend to assume
science
and
technology
are playing more crucial roles than
history
. I believe that both
history
,
science
and
technology
have similar parts in educational matters. It was caused by
history
becoming our media to know about the journey that happened in the past and to raise our
nationalism
.
Besides
, we have to learn about
science
and
technology
in order to get a detailed understanding of
history
and to learn about
history
learning becomes more interesting.
Firstly
, the Importance of learning about
history
is to know about the journey that happened in the past. Students will know about the origin of how life was created and how the environment gives huge benefits to the human race. If they know a lot of information about
this
, they realize and be grateful because they live in the present time with comfortable facilities and safe conditions.
For example
, pupils learn about Second
war
Capitalize word
War
show examples
history
which
this
condition is fulfilled by misery, starvation and fear. They will raise their gratitude to God
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because born at the present time.
However
, sometimes several students are bored with learning
history
through textbooks, which is why it is important to learn about
history
on the Internet. To explore
history
content is surely needed capabilities in
technology
.
In addition
,
history
like Bigbang relates to the
science
field, in order to get a detailed understanding, they have to study
science
.
Secondly
,
history
tells about the people's struggle in past will raise
nationalism
.
In particular
chapter in
history
knowledge
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
consists of a story about how a country fought an independence from colonialists. From
this
narrative, generation-like students indirectly feel pity and have huge empathy for heroes who struggled in the past.
History
also
can be an evaluation and description for pupils as citizens to defend the state's sovereignty.
For example
, Indonesia has been colonized by invaders for a long time.
This
story is written
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
history
. Everyone who reads that
historyhistory
Correct your spelling
history
will raise
nationalism
to preserve Indonesia. In conclusion,
History
,
Science
and
technology
are the important subjects at school to learn.
History
will give us information about the journey that happened in the past.
In addition
, it
also
raises our
nationalism
.
However
,
Science
and
technology
are
also
necessary, they will give us a detailed understanding when study deeply about
history
, and learning becomes more interesting.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
The essay does not clearly state the topic and the interpretation of the subject matter is convoluted with significant grammatical errors that impede the meaning.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction or conclusion, with ideas presented in a somewhat disjointed or abrupt manner.
coherence cohesion
The essay fails to elaborate with specific examples to support the main points effectively.
task achievement
The task is superficially addressed and ideas are neither fully extended nor supported with clear, related examples.
task achievement
The main points are not clearly articulated, leading to a lack of comprehensive ideas presented in the essay.
task achievement
There is a failure to include relevant and specific examples to substantiate the arguments presented within the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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