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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.
#bar #ten #countries #production #consumption #electricity
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The bar chart above illustrates the figure for manufacturing and
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
eletricity
Correct your spelling
electricity
 by
top
Correct article usage
the top
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 ten distinct countries during a
specefic
Correct your spelling
specific
 year, 2014. With
a
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an
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overall
Linking Words
 glance, it is evident that
while
Linking Words
 the China and United
states
Capitalize word
States
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 were the most
manufacturer
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manufacturers
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 and
consumer
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consumers
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 of
electricity
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, Korea had the least amount for both
consumption
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 and production. China and
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 States were the biggest
electricity
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producer
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producers
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 in 2014 with over
that
Correct word choice
apply
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5000 billion
kWh
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 and 4000
kWh
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 respectively.
However
Linking Words
, China with 5322 billion
kWh
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 and
United
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the United
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 States with 3866 billion
kWh
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 had the most
consumption
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 of
electricity
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 in the world.
Also
Linking Words
 noteworthy is that Germany was the only country among these nations
which its
Correct pronoun usage
whose
show examples
consumption
Use synonyms
 (582.5) was more
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 its production (526.6). Korea was the least consumer(449.5) and producer(485.1) throughout the world. The amount of
electricity
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 production and
consumption
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 in Russia was nearly identical (1057 and 1038).
The other
Correct article usage
Other
show examples
 countries
such
Linking Words
 as Japan, India, Canada, France, Brazil, Germany and Korea were the least consumer and producer in 2014.
Submitted by amirrezadelghandi3 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, electricity, kwh with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • megawatt-hours (MWh)
  • electricity grid
  • renewable energy sources
  • fossil fuels
  • energy efficiency
  • consumption patterns
  • power generation
  • industrial demand
  • residential use
  • transmission losses
  • energy imports
  • sustainability
  • carbon footprint
  • energy policy
  • capacity
  • infrastructure
  • demand and supply
  • electrification
  • energy security
  • grid reliability
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