Surveillance cameras in banks, offices, shops and streets have been very successful in reducing crime in the workplace and public, but they are also took for their users to spy on people's private business. what problems do surveillance cameras create? what are the solutions?

Nowadays,
camers
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cameras
gamers
play
curitiul
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critical
role in
protacting
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protecting
people and
provide
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providing
show examples
them with
Correct article usage
a save
show examples
save
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safe
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environment.
they
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They
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can use
it
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them
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in different places
such
as
home
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at home
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and work.
However
,it can be used in
bad
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a bad
show examples
way to spy on people. There are several issues that surveillance
camera
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cameras
show examples
produce.
Firstly
,using
this
type of
camer
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camera
at work
have
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has
show examples
to be privet and secure with
strong
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a strong
show examples
password.That will
assisst
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assist
in
protacting
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protecting
their
praivecy
Correct your spelling
privacy
.
Moreover
,they
Submitted by nooraalmalki1993 on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is not coherently developed. You should work on creating a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow logically from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are not well-defined or are missing. Make sure to clearly state the topic and your thesis in the introduction, then summarize your points and restate your thesis in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are not adequately supported with examples or explanations. Develop each point with specific details or reasons.
task achievement
Your response is incomplete and does not cover all parts of the task. Make sure to fully address the problems created by surveillance cameras as well as offer solutions to these issues.
task achievement
Your ideas are not communicated clearly or comprehensively. Ensure your essay presents your ideas in a way that is easy to understand and follows a logical progression.
task achievement
The essay lacks relevant and specific examples to illustrate the problems and solutions related to surveillance cameras. Use concrete examples to strengthen your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • surveillance
  • privacy invasion
  • misuse
  • cybercriminals
  • over-reliance
  • psychological impact
  • data storage
  • data breaches
  • compliance
  • behavioral changes
  • regulations
  • signage
  • encrypting
  • secured storage
  • privacy rights
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