some people say history is one of the most important schools subjects. Other people think, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
History
is about the civilization and culture in
the past. Change preposition
of
While
some elites reckon students should allocate the
most of their Correct article usage
apply
time
to study
Wrong verb form
studying
history
, others believe in
our modern Change preposition
apply
time
majors like engineering have more applications. I believe history
is part of our identity and every one
should learn Replace the word
everyone
history
before any thing
else.
On one hand, Correct your spelling
anything
history
is always repeated which means human behavior
is the same Change the spelling
behaviour
through
Change preposition
throughout
the
Correct article usage
apply
time
. In other words
, learning about the past helps us to lead a better life. For example
, regarding economy
, Add an article
the economy
history
shows if the government manipulates market
by forcing it to trade commodities at Correct article usage
the market
his
offered price, it would result in a worse situation. Correct pronoun usage
their
Furthermore
, it also
tells us about how nations are built as well as
the importance of liberty. Besides
, it is said that nations who do not study history
will experience it. All dictators live in the
communities where people have not learnt from the past.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, the main role of the education system is to prepare students for the job
market, and unfortunately knowing history
is not a job
so no one will pay for that. As a consequence
, students focusing on studying history
are prone to becoming job less
in the future. Correct your spelling
jobless
In addition
, the school resources are limited and they cannot cover all subjects. Therefore
, student
should spend most of their Add an article
the student
a student
time
on high
demanded subjects including science and Replace the word
highly
technolgy
. Correct your spelling
technology
For example
, today computer skills are highly paid while
other fields are facing threats like lossing
their Correct your spelling
losing
job
to the
AI.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
apply
although
studying history
does not provide people with the
Correct article usage
apply
job
oppurtunities
, it provides the country with Correct your spelling
opportunities
the
liberty and Correct article usage
apply
better
Correct article usage
a better
policy making
approach. Add a hyphen
policy-making
Therfore
, it should be the most important subject in schools.Correct your spelling
Therefore
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coherence cohesion
The essay has a recognizable structure with an introduction and conclusion, but the arguments need better organization to enhance clarity. Ensure each paragraph has a central idea with clear progression.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks varied cohesive devices and could benefit from better paragraphing. Use a range of linking words effectively to improve the logical flow of ideas.
task achievement
While the essay addresses the task, the response could be strengthened by comprehensively developing and supporting the main ideas. Ensure that all viewpoints are discussed with equal depth and that the conclusion summarizes the discussion effectively.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support arguments. Avoid general statements and ensure that the examples given are directly connected to the topic at hand.
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