some people say history is one of the most important schools subjects. Other people think, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

History
is about the civilization and culture
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the past.
While
some elites reckon students should allocate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of their
time
to
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
history
, others believe
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our modern
time
majors like engineering have more applications. I believe
history
is part of our identity and
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
should learn
history
before
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
else. On one hand,
history
is always repeated which means human
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
is the same
through
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
.
In other words
, learning about the past helps us to lead a better life.
For example
, regarding
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
,
history
shows if the government manipulates
market
Correct article usage
the market
show examples
by forcing it to trade commodities at
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
offered price, it would result in a worse situation.
Furthermore
, it
also
tells us about how nations are built
as well as
the importance of liberty.
Besides
, it is said that nations who do not study
history
will experience it. All dictators live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communities where people have not learnt from the past.
On the other hand
, the main role of the education system is to prepare students for the
job
market, and unfortunately knowing
history
is not a
job
so no one will pay for that.
As a consequence
, students focusing on studying
history
are prone to becoming
job less
Correct your spelling
jobless
show examples
in the future.
In addition
, the school resources are limited and they cannot cover all subjects.
Therefore
,
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
should spend most of their
time
on
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
demanded subjects including science and
technolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
.
For example
, today computer skills are highly paid
while
other fields are facing threats like
lossing
Correct your spelling
losing
their
job
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
AI. In conclusion,
although
studying
history
does not provide people with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
oppurtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
, it provides the country with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
liberty and
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
policy making
Add a hyphen
policy-making
show examples
approach.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, it should be the most important subject in schools.
Submitted by AUser on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay has a recognizable structure with an introduction and conclusion, but the arguments need better organization to enhance clarity. Ensure each paragraph has a central idea with clear progression.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks varied cohesive devices and could benefit from better paragraphing. Use a range of linking words effectively to improve the logical flow of ideas.
task achievement
While the essay addresses the task, the response could be strengthened by comprehensively developing and supporting the main ideas. Ensure that all viewpoints are discussed with equal depth and that the conclusion summarizes the discussion effectively.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support arguments. Avoid general statements and ensure that the examples given are directly connected to the topic at hand.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: