The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.
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The
two
Use synonyms
pie charts compare the percentages of students who were British at a specific university in England and spoke other
languages
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besides
Linking Words
English in
two
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different years, 2000 and 2010.
Overall
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, Spanish was the biggest proportion in both years. Another
language
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and
two
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other
Use synonyms
languages
Change the noun form
language
show examples
categories had increased,
while
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no other
language
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and French groups had decreased. German group,
however
Linking Words
, did not change and was the smallest
language
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which British students were able to speak. There are broad
similarity
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similarities
show examples
between Spanish, Another
language
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, and
Two
Use synonyms
other
Use synonyms
languages
Fix the agreement mistake
language
show examples
categories. The biggest percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
British students could speak Spanish
in addition
Linking Words
to English in 2000, at 30%,
this
Linking Words
figure had increased to more than a third in 2010.
Similarly
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, another
language
Use synonyms
and
two
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other
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languages
Change the noun form
language
show examples
groups had raised 5% each, from 15 to 20
percent
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per cent
show examples
and from 10 to 15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, respectively.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the percentages of No other
languages
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and French had fell. The former
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
occupied the second position at a fifth in 2000 but decreased twofold in 2010. The latter,
also
Linking Words
, fell from 15% in 2000 to 10% in 2010. German
language
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
,
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
the smallest percentage in both years.
Submitted by sr.alizadeh9191 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words two, languages, language with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportions
  • British students
  • university
  • speaking other languages
  • language proficiency
  • overall trends
  • comparison
  • 2000
  • 2010
  • chart
  • data
  • percentage
  • significant
  • increase
  • decrease
  • noteworthy
  • comparative analysis
  • improvement
  • decline
  • conclusion
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