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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emission which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emission which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emission #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The first pie chart illustrates the average proportion of
energy
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 consumed in Australian households,
whereas
Linking Words
 the second pie chart reveals the figures for
emissions
Use synonyms
 of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gases
Use synonyms
 resulting from the mentioned
energy
Use synonyms
 usage.
Overall
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, it is clearly observable that the heating and
water
Use synonyms
 heating groups account for the largest and second-largest amounts of
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption in Australia, respectively.
Moreover
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, it can be seen that
water
Use synonyms
 heating and cooling emit the highest and lowest amounts of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gases
Use synonyms
, respectively. Among all categories, heating accounts for the largest amount of
energy
Use synonyms
 usage, using 42% of all
energy
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
water
Use synonyms
 heating, which is placed in second place, consumes twice as much
energy
Use synonyms
 as the other appliance category (15%). It is worth noting that the
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption of other categories is insignificant compared with these three groups. With regard to the amount of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gases
Use synonyms
 that are released, the proportion of
emissions
Use synonyms
 from
water
Use synonyms
 heating is the largest, which is around one-third of all
emissions
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is approximately equal to the emission of the other appliance method (28%).
Moreover
Linking Words
, the figure for the amount of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gases
Use synonyms
 that the heating emits is approximately equal to that of the refrigeration. The figures for the
emissions
Use synonyms
 by other groups, being less than 10%, can be ignored.
Submitted by m.r.zamani1376678 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, emissions, greenhouse, gases, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amounts" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Household activities
  • Heating
  • Water heating
  • Cooling
  • Appliances
  • Proportion
  • Efficiency
  • Insulation
  • Energy-efficient
  • Sustainable practices
  • Reduce emissions
  • Environmental impact
  • Carbon footprint
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