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Band 6

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. Writing Task 1

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. Writing Task 1
#expenditure #three #categories #age #groups #residents #uk #summaries #information #features #comparisons
The bar graph illustrates the percentages of the total money spent on three service types in a certain country in Europe,
while
 distributing the age groups
comsunimg
Correct your spelling
consuming
 these services.
Overall
, people under the age of 30 dedicate most of their salaries
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
resturants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
 and hotels, but
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others pay most of
the
Change the word
their
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incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
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 for food and drinks.
It is clear that
 food and drinks are
most
Replace the word
mostly
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 bought by older people particularly
aging from
Verb problem
those aged
show examples
 76
years
 and
more
Correct word choice
older
show examples
. The amount of money put
for
Change preposition
into
show examples
enertainment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
 facilities varies among the groups,
while
 the community between ( 61 to 75)
years
 prioritize it with
approxiametly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 23%
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
overall
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
, it is notable that
socities
Correct your spelling
societies
 which are younger than 30
years
 old do not pay much attention to
such
 entertaining
activtities
Correct your spelling
activities
, so they give about 6% only from their budget on it. When it comes to paying for
resturants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
 and hotels, records show that each person between 61 and 75
years
 old
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
show examples
 less than 5% of their money on
such
 destinations.
In contrast
, these places's
finanace
Correct your spelling
finances
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
show examples
 on more than 10% of budgets from both groups ( 31 to 45) and ( 46 to 60).
Submitted by makahlehaseel on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, such, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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