IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Since the beginning of 21st century internet has been changed dramatically and working from home has become common. While working in the comfort of home may prove to be a blessing, office workers have some unmatchable benefits. This essay will discuss why office goers could be more productive than people who choose to be home-sourced.

#st #century #internet #home #comfort #office #workers #unmatchable #goers #people
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One of the most common approaches in the world since the beginning of
Covid-19
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COVID-19
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 is
remote-working
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remote working
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. At
first,
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it was for the sake of safety and preventing the disease
to spread
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from spreading
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.
Then
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, after the invention of the vaccine and controlling the virus, It became a regular way of working all around the world.
Remote-working
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Remote working
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 has some benefits to both managers and
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office-workers
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office workers
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, but it
also
Linking Words
 has its downfalls, too. One of them is the
productivity
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 of the workers. The main reason
of
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apply
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why people who go to the
office
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 are more productive than
remote-workers
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remote workers
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 is the effect of the work environment. When an employee is working from home, there is more likely for him to be distracted. As an example, he may have a pet which needs attention or he may check his social media accounts more often.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the focus reduces and
as a result
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, the
productivity
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 decreases. But when
office
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 workers are in the
work place
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workplace
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, they are aware of the
presense
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presence
 of the supervisor and they try to do their best.
Also
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, the
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
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 and suggestions of other co-workers can be helpful for developing an idea. Another justification that can be made for
this
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 issue is that when employees are
remote-working
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remote working
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, they are not limited to working hours and they can do their job at any time of the day.
This
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 lack of limitation may cause many dysfunctionalities
such
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 as
change
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changes
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 in sleep routine and the difference
of
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in
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 working hours between other co-workers.
Hence
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, the
productivity
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 of both individuals and the team decreases. But when there is a specific hour for all the employees to gather together and work, none of the mentioned issues could happen.
Overall
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,
remote-working
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remote working
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 is a phenomenon which some people can handle well and do their job adequately
as
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apply
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in the
office
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.
However
Linking Words
, if we see the bigger picture, it is for the best for the company to make some rules about working hours and being in the
office
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, so the
productivity
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 of the team would not be affected.
Submitted by mohamad.sanaye462 on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that you have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, aligning with the traditional essay structure. Ensure the thesis statement is prominent and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points without introducing new ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Maintain logical sequence throughout the essay. Transition smoothly between points and paragraphs to ensure clear progression of ideas. Use a variety of cohesive devices effectively.
Task Achievement & Development of Ideas
Even though you provide some specific examples, it is important to fully explore and develop each main point. Present clear arguments, elaborate on ideas, and demonstrate how they relate directly to the essay question.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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