High job demands, stress and sense of commitment are among the main reasons people go to work when they are ill. This way they accomplish important tasks, but may infect others or get some serious health problems themselves. In your opinion should people go to work if they are sick?

Nowadays,there has been much discussion revolving around job errands and the negative impact of
this
is some
people
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
to
work
even when they are incapacitated.The ensuing
this
in their health and their friends in the working environment contribute to negative consequences. With the aim of curbing
this
phenomenon,I conceive that
people
do not
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
go to
work
when they suffer from any sort of disease.
This
essay will delve into the details of the given topic,
in addition
to my opinion,
along with
some corporations in order to justify my point of view.
To begin
with, plenty of individuals can not get
along with
their sedentary jobs,but they have to fulfil their requirements. In order to meet the union's needs.Not only
this
is a major dilemma but
also
working hours,as well lead to some drawbacks. Currently because of inflation
as well as
taxes many
companies
increase working time.In an effort to get a living and matchless profits. Despite
this
concept, there are some drawbacks because of the given fact. To illustrate
this
, on account of stress and the feelings of responsibility a lot of
people
go to
work
even when they are sick.
However
, the short-term pivots of
this
can lead to awful consequences for both
companies
as well as
employees.
This
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
some diseases are very infected precisely chest diseases.
As a result
, there is a risk of spreading infection.
Therefore
, the whole employee will be affected and will be incapacitated.
Consequently
, the profits of the
companies
will be in a downward trend. What is more, take the epidemic era of COVID-19 as a clear example. What a lot of working organizations did was
work
from home in the system in order to overcome the ordeal of infections and keep their stuff safe as much as they could.
On the other hand
, some
companies
didn't follow
this
strategy and the result in their incomes was unsatisfied.To elucidate
this
,
for instance
,in my country (Egypt), Vodafone company, where
people
attended the company to achieve their errands,
however
, they struggled with infection.
Thus
,they were not able to meet their targets. Eventually, the company lost a lot of money. So as not to suffer from
this
, If you are ill, don't go to
work
.
Furthermore
,currently, a great deal of organizations prevent incapacitated staff from attending. In a nutshell, after a thorough analysis of the mentioned topic, the given arguments collectively
conceive
Verb problem
convince
show examples
me that it is not justified to attend
work
If you are not fit. Owing to the aforementioned clarifications.
Submitted by nadeenelkenawy4425 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear logical structure which makes it difficult to follow your argument. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that this idea is developed logically throughout the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Although an introduction and conclusion are present, they are not effective in presenting and summarizing the main points. You should clearly state your thesis in the introduction and succinctly summarize your main arguments in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The main points in your essay need better development and support. Use specific examples, facts, or data to support each point. This will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
task achievement
You partially addressed the prompt but did not fully develop your response. Each point you make should directly answer the question posed by the task.
task achievement
Your ideas are somewhat clear but not expressed comprehensively. Work on clarifying and expanding your ideas so that the reader can easily understand and be convinced by your arguments.
task achievement
Examples used were somewhat relevant but they need to be more specific and directly linked to the points you are making. They should illustrate the argument clearly and effectively.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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