The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

#show #percentage #time #adults #activities #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The graphs illustrate the proportion of

time

career-men

Correct your spelling

career men

show examples

and

career-women

Correct your spelling

career women

show examples

spent on various

activities

in a nation in the

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

show examples

1958 and 2008.

Overall

, working has always been the

dominants

Change the noun form

dominant

show examples

activity

which

then

Add a missing verb

is then

show examples

followed by sleeping. The least popular

activities

in 1958 were

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

to work and playing sports,

whereas

in 2008 the most uncommon

activity

was going out with friends or family. The most common

activities

done by the workers were working and sleeping. Working

time

increased from 33% to nearly half

while

sleeping

time

decreased from 32% to a quarter.

Moreover

time

spent

to hang

Change the verb form

hanging

show examples

out with colleagues

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

down from 19% to 6%, which made it the least popular

activity

in the

year

2008.

Furthermore

, in the

year

1958, the least popular

activities

were commuting to work which was only 2%.

However

this

number jumped to 8% in the

year

2008 which made it

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

playing sports.

In addition

time

spent by the workers to relax at home increased significantly from 8% to 13%, which made it the third most popular

activity

done by the workers in the

year

2008.

Submitted by nadillamntr on Tue Dec 26 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words time, activities, year, activity with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

184 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

should student study harder than lesson. Do you agree or diagree?

Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reason for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Poor nutrition and obesity is a problem in many developed countries and some people believe that a tax on fast food would reduce the problem. Do you agree?

Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.