IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

thw graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

thw graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
#thw #information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions
The line
graph
 illustrates data about the population rate in four different nations, staying in Asia between 1970 and 2020, with anticipations from 2030 to 2040. From an
overall
 perspective, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
clearly seen
Add the auxiliary verb
is clearly seen
show examples
 in the
graph
, Malaysia witnessed the most growth even until the
last
 predicted period.
Nevertheless
,
Thailand
Change noun form
Thailand's
show examples
 figure showed
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 minor percentage. As the
graph
demonstrate
Change the verb form
demonstrates
show examples
, Malaysia started with 30
percent
 in 1970, and it increased dramatically until it reached 75
percent
 in 2020.
Moreover
, the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people who were living in Malaysia will experience a substantial rise in 2040. It
will
Verb problem
is
show examples
anticipate
Wrong verb form
anticipated
show examples
 to reach just over 80
percent
.
On the other hand
, the two obvious figures which witnessed the lowest rate were Indonesia and Thailand, but they grew progressively from about 15 and under 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1970 to reach approximately 60 and 45, in 2040 as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
expected from the
graph
, respectively.
Submitted by f201600285 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: