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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below illustrates weekly consumption by age group of dairy products in a European country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below illustrates weekly consumption by age group of dairy products in a European country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The figures below represent each
amount
Use synonyms
 of
milk
Use synonyms
 and butter consumption
according to
Linking Words
 different
age
Use synonyms
 groups in a European country.
Firstly
Linking Words
, those who consume
milk
Use synonyms
 the most are revealed in
Use synonyms
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 of over 65 years old.
This
Linking Words
group
Use synonyms
 intake
overall
Linking Words
 1900ml in a week and 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of them preferred
low fat
Add a hyphen
low-fat
show examples
milk
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
under 25 years old drinks the least
amount
Use synonyms
 of
milk
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
weekly, which is about 1200ml.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,
Correct article usage
a 59percent
show examples
59percent
Correct your spelling
59 per cent
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters are reported to prefer
full fat
Add a hyphen
full-fat
show examples
milk
Use synonyms
. In
Use synonyms
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of 26 to 45 and 45 to 65 consumed pretty similar
Use synonyms
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of
milk
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
weekly, which are each
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1650ml and 1670ml. Surprisingly, the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 of 45 to 65 is revealed as the consumer of the highest
amount
Use synonyms
 of butter.
What the
Correct pronoun usage
The
show examples
 interesting point is,
Linking Words
this
Correct word choice
that this
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 shows exactly half and half
preferrence
Correct your spelling
preference
 between the two different
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
 of butters .

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, milk, age, group, ml with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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