Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people

The amount of consuming

products

which contain

high

Add an article

a high

show examples

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

suger

Correct your spelling

sugar

is increasing, with some people claiming that it should be

dicrease

Correct your spelling

decrease

decreased

make

Change the verb form

making

show examples

these goods lavish and exorbitant items. I personally accept

this

, and I will explain why in

this

essay.

Firstly

, when sugary

products

become pricy,

many

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a many

the many

show examples

number

Change to a plural noun

numbers

show examples

of customers cannot supply them, and it

spontenously

Correct your spelling

spontaneously

lead

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leads

show examples

to less

suger

Correct your spelling

sugar

usage.

In other words

, people rather purchase

necessery

Correct your spelling

necessary

and cost-effective

products

than costly ones.

Secondly

, these price

rising

Wrong verb form

rises

show examples

cause to search and find

another alternative

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other alternatives

show examples

such

as honey,

sweat

Correct your spelling

sweet

show examples

fruit, and date which have numerous benefits and put

body

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the body

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good health condition. In

this

situation

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situation,

show examples

organic foods become popular among

comunities

Correct your spelling

communities

Finally

, another idea that supports

this

point of view is that price increase

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

decrease

Correct article usage

a decrease

show examples

different

Change preposition

in different

show examples

types of

products

limite acssese

Correct your spelling

limited access

to them.

one

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One

show examples

kind of

responce

Correct your spelling

response

decline

Correct article usage

a decline

show examples

demanding

Replace the word

demand

show examples

is put

limitation

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limitations

show examples

variety

Add an article

the variety

show examples

of kinds of goods which

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

less

usage

Replace the word

use

show examples

For

example

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example,

show examples

Star

box

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Box

show examples

has

thousends

Correct your spelling

thousands

coffee

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of coffee

show examples

branches all over the world and when the price of

suger

Correct your spelling

sugar

which is

vital

Correct article usage

a vital

show examples

ingediant of coffee

dramaticly

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dramatically

dramatic

increase, a lot of

pepole

Correct your spelling

people

cannot buy coffee and

this

less request has

result

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resulted

show examples

Change preposition

in to

show examples

suspend

some

Change preposition

of some

show examples

branches. Admittedly, it is true that

increasing

Wrong verb form

an increase

show examples

in sugary

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

may

has

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

effect

Add an article

an effect

show examples

on other product prices, but sugar is not

vital

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a vital

show examples

ingredient for basic needs like rice,

meet

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meat

show examples

, and bread.

Also

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Also,

show examples

some

organisation

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organisations

show examples

have to control inflation and prevent

this

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these

show examples

actions

lead

Wrong verb form

from leading

show examples

to economic

problem

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problems

show examples

. In conclusion, I personally

belive

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believe

show examples

that

these kind

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this kind

these kinds

show examples

of activities have

great

Add an article

a great

show examples

impact on

control

Wrong verb form

controlling

show examples

cunsuming

Correct your spelling

consumption

sugary

Change preposition

of sugary

show examples

products

and can

creat

Correct your spelling

create

show examples

useful

change

Fix the agreement mistake

changes

show examples

in society's lifestyle.

Submitted by zahra.hmt88 on Tue Dec 26 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay's logical structure requires improvement. While an introduction and conclusion are present, the progression of ideas is not entirely logical or well-sequenced, leading to a lack of clarity in places. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next with clear topic sentences and supporting details.

coherence cohesion

Support for main points within paragraphs is weak, lacking depth and specific examples. Make sure to back each point with clear, detailed examples or further explanation to substantiate your argument.

task achievement

The overall response to the task is evident, yet the development of ideas is somewhat general and not fully clear. Expand on the reasons and implications of making sugary products more expensive with greater detail and clarity to directly answer the essay question.

task achievement

In several instances, ideas are presented but not expounded upon comprehensively. Further develop your ideas to ensure the reader fully understands the argument being made. Aim to clearly articulate the reasoning behind your points.

task achievement

The use of relevant examples is limited in this essay. To strengthen your argument, incorporate specific, real-world examples that directly relate to the topic and your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
61Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is sometimes argued that too many students go to university, while others claim that a university education should be a universal right.

There is a trend of increasing amounts of consumer goods, which leads to environmental problems. What are the reasons for this trend? Give your own opinion and solutions.

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. Do advantage of this development outweigh this disadvantages.