Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The amount of consuming
products
which contain Use synonyms
high
Add an article
a high
level
of Fix the agreement mistake
levels
suger
is increasing, with some people claiming that it should be Correct your spelling
sugar
dicrease
by Correct your spelling
decrease
decreased
make
these goods lavish and exorbitant items. I personally accept Change the verb form
making
this
, and I will explain why in Linking Words
this
essay.
Linking Words
Firstly
, when sugary Linking Words
products
become pricy, Use synonyms
many
Change the article
a many
the many
number
of customers cannot supply them, and it Change to a plural noun
numbers
spontenously
Correct your spelling
spontaneously
lead
to less Change the verb form
leads
suger
usage. Correct your spelling
sugar
In other words
, people rather purchase Linking Words
necessery
and cost-effective Correct your spelling
necessary
products
than costly ones. Use synonyms
Secondly
, these price Linking Words
rising
cause to search and find Wrong verb form
rises
another alternative
Fix the agreement mistake
other alternatives
such
as honey, Linking Words
sweat
fruit, and date which have numerous benefits and put Correct your spelling
sweet
body
in Add an article
the body
a
good health condition. In Correct article usage
apply
this
Linking Words
situation
organic foods become popular among Add a comma
situation,
comunities
. Correct your spelling
communities
Finally
, another idea that supports Linking Words
this
point of view is that price increase Linking Words
lead
to Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
different
types of Change preposition
in different
products
or Use synonyms
limite acssese
to them. Correct your spelling
limited access
one
kind of Capitalize word
One
responce
to Correct your spelling
response
decline
in Correct article usage
a decline
demanding
is put Replace the word
demand
limitation
on Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
variety
of kinds of goods which Add an article
the variety
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
to
less Change preposition
apply
usage
. Replace the word
use
For
Linking Words
example
Star Add a comma
example,
box
has Capitalize word
Box
thousends
Correct your spelling
thousands
coffee
branches all over the world and when the price of Change preposition
of coffee
suger
which is Correct your spelling
sugar
vital
ingediant of coffee Correct article usage
a vital
dramaticly
increase, a lot of Correct your spelling
dramatically
dramatic
pepole
cannot buy coffee and Correct your spelling
people
this
less request has Linking Words
result
Change the verb form
resulted
to
suspend Change preposition
in to
some
branches.
Admittedly, it is true that Change preposition
of some
increasing
in sugary Wrong verb form
an increase
product
may Fix the agreement mistake
products
has
Wrong verb form
have
effect
on other product prices, but sugar is not Add an article
an effect
vital
ingredient for basic needs like rice, Add an article
a vital
meet
, and bread. Correct your spelling
meat
Linking Words
Also
some Add a comma
Also,
organisation
have to control inflation and prevent Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
Linking Words
this
actions Change the determiner
these
lead
to economic Wrong verb form
from leading
problem
.
In conclusion, I personally Fix the agreement mistake
problems
belive
that Correct your spelling
believe
these kind
of activities have Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
great
impact on Add an article
a great
control
Wrong verb form
controlling
cunsuming
Correct your spelling
consumption
sugary
Change preposition
of sugary
products
and can Use synonyms
creat
useful Correct your spelling
create
change
in society's lifestyle.Fix the agreement mistake
changes
Submitted by zahra.hmt88 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay's logical structure requires improvement. While an introduction and conclusion are present, the progression of ideas is not entirely logical or well-sequenced, leading to a lack of clarity in places. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next with clear topic sentences and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Support for main points within paragraphs is weak, lacking depth and specific examples. Make sure to back each point with clear, detailed examples or further explanation to substantiate your argument.
task achievement
The overall response to the task is evident, yet the development of ideas is somewhat general and not fully clear. Expand on the reasons and implications of making sugary products more expensive with greater detail and clarity to directly answer the essay question.
task achievement
In several instances, ideas are presented but not expounded upon comprehensively. Further develop your ideas to ensure the reader fully understands the argument being made. Aim to clearly articulate the reasoning behind your points.
task achievement
The use of relevant examples is limited in this essay. To strengthen your argument, incorporate specific, real-world examples that directly relate to the topic and your viewpoint.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.