Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The amount of consuming
products
which contain high
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
of
sugar
is increasing, with some people claiming that it should be decreased by making these goods lavish and exorbitant items. I personally accept
this
, and I will explain why in
this
essay.
Firstly
, when sugary
products
become pricy, many numbers of customers cannot supply them, and it spontaneously leads to less
sugar
usage.
In other words
, people rather purchase necessary and cost-effective
products
than costly ones.
Secondly
, these price
rise
Correct subject-verb agreement
rises
show examples
cause to search and find
other alternative
Change the wording
another alternative
other alternatives
show examples
such
as honey, sweet fruit, and
date
Fix the agreement mistake
dates
show examples
which have numerous benefits and put
bodies
Correct pronoun usage
their bodies
show examples
in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good health condition. In
this
situation, organic foods become popular among communities.
Finally
, another idea that supports
this
point of view is that price
increase leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases lead
show examples
to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
in different types of
products
or limited access to them. One kind of response to
decline
Add an article
the decline
a decline
show examples
in demand is
put
Fix the infinitive
to put
show examples
limitation
Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
show examples
on the variety of kinds of goods which causes less use.
For example
, Star
box
Capitalize word
Box
show examples
has
thousands
Add the preposition
thousands of
show examples
coffee branches all over the world and when the price of
sugar
which is
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
ingredient of coffee dramatically
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
, a lot of people cannot buy coffee and
this
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
request
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
resulted
into suspend
Replace the word
in the suspension
show examples
of some branches. Admittedly, it is true that
increasing
Wrong verb form
an increase
show examples
in sugary
products
may have effects on other product prices, but
sugar
is not
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
ingredient for basic needs like rice, meat, and bread.
Also
, some
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
have to control inflation and prevent these actions
lead
Wrong verb form
from leading
show examples
to economic problems. In conclusion, I personally believe that
this
kind of
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a great impact on controlling
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
of sugary
products
and can create useful changes in society's lifestyle.
Submitted by zahra.hmt88 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure with distinct paragraphs for the introduction, each main point, and the conclusion. Transition words and phrases should be used effectively to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Avoid repetition of ideas and aim for a variety of complex sentence structures.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, make sure to address all parts of the prompt thoroughly, providing a clear opinion on the issue and supporting your views with relevant examples and explanations. Ensure that the examples are specific and directly related to the point being discussed. Each paragraph should contain a single, clear idea that contributes to your overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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